Now that's just Chinese.

There's this woman who comes into our library every couple of days to check her e-mail and so forth. She also has this annoying habit of talking on her cell phone. Not only is it common sense not to talk on a cell phone in a library, but there are signs telling her it isn't allowed. So, you'd think that when a co-worker of mine asked her to take the conversation outside, she would. Instead, she just lowered her voice for a minute or two to end the conversation.

This woman's other problem is that she's computer illiterate AND she's great at stereotyping. She called me over to help her view a picture attachment from her e-mail. She was on a Mac. Now, I'm pretty damn good with computers, but I'm better with PCs than Macs. I tried the obvious applications like iPhoto and so forth, but I couldn't get the photo open. She then gave me this wonderful advice: "It's an Oriental thing. You should ask one of the Asian people when they come in. They'll know you how to do it."

Great advice. I never though about asking an Asian person, since every person of Asian descent knows everything about computers. How stupid of me not to see that before. When I ask the next Asian person who comes in how to do it, based strictly on their race, I'll also ask him or her the correct procedure to produce rice paper and how to make a bitchin' kung pao sauce for chicken.

I'll ask the next Native American who comes in to do a rain dance. I've always wanted to see an authentic rain dance.

Or maybe the entire problem with the photo situation was the computer itself, and not the technical superiority of an Asian over my stupid American brain. That Mac is at least 3 years old. Up until last week, we had 2 of those Macs, but the motherboard on one of them crapped out completely. That tells you how old they are, since Macs are built pretty damn good.

Next time I see that woman in my library, I'll pay the closest black guy I see to pop a cap in her ass, since all black people are gang members and thieves. Everyone knows that.