Behold me

Some people use their blog to update people on the happenings of their life. Unfortunately, nothing ever really happens in my life that would be exciting enough to post. It’s not that I have a boring life. It’s just that I’m the type of person who doesn’t feel the need to “open up” to everyone about what I’m going through and dealing with. If I were going through horrible personal trauma or something, it would be a lot easier I guess. But, as it stands now, my life is pretty good. I’m not saying that you all can’t tell me about what’s happening to you. Continue to whine and bitch about your pathetic lives all you want. I’ll keep reading, and I’ll keep laughing inside at your misfortunes.

Fine, I’ll give you a quick update on me before I move on to the bitching of trivial matters. I am planning on making a trip back to Nebraska in a few months for all 2 of you who give a shit. Not that I blame you at all for not caring. If I were you, I wouldn’t care about me either. I plan to be in Nebraska for about a week, but the time I have set aside to visit friends is quite short. I plan to spend at least 2 days with the parents, which leaves 5 days left. Subtract the 2 days I plan to spend with Bob’s whore of a mother, and that only leaves 3 days to split between all of my friends. It’ll be tough, but I’ll make it work. What else should I update you all on? Oh yeah, I got one of my grades for last quarter’s worth of classes. That right bitches, another A. I have a better GPA in my Master’s Degree classes than I ever had a Dana, and I’ve done less work than I ever did at Dana. This Master’s Degree program, while expensive, is as easy as Bob’s mom after a shot of Jager. I’m not saying the subjects themselves or what I have to learn is easy, but as far as homework goes, there really isn’t any. A few papers to write here and there, but other than that, it’s a walk in the park. Add to that the fact I don’t have to write a thesis to get this Master’s Degree and I’m quite thrilled. It isn’t that I couldn’t write a thesis, it’s just that all the preparation that goes into writing something that large takes a lot of preparation and time. I absolutely hate the prep work.

Are there any other updates of interest? Oh yeah, one very important one actually. After being engaged for over a year, Sam and I have finally set a wedding date. The date is: July 12, 2008. 2008 you say? Why so late you say? Well, we figured since a wedding takes a lot of planning, we’d want ample time to do so. Plus, I want to actually finish that easy MLIS degree first and that should take another year. The wedding will be here in Denver, despite Sam’s parents goading us to have the wedding in California. I’m not going to have my poor friends travel all the way to CA to be in the wedding. I honestly don’t mean anything bad by saying that my friends are poor, it’s just that most of them have blue collar jobs and the one’s that do have better paying jobs, still don’t get paid much. They’re getting Nebraska wages, and that ain’t going to cover the cost of travel to CA and a place to stay. At least here in Denver, it’s a shorter travel distance and it’s easier for me to find places for people to stay.

Enough of me. On to the
Stupid MotherFucker of the Week Award
This week’s award goes to Novartis Consumer Health Inc. Yes, a large pharmaceutical company is indeed eligible to win this. Novartis wins because of their deceitful trickery of the consumer base, including myself. You see, I suffer from migraine headaches, though not very often. Maybe I’ll get a migraine twice a year, but when I get one, oh it’s bad. Bad enough that not only does my head feel like it’s going to explode, but I feel like I’m going to puke AND my left arm usually goes completely numb. I don’t wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy. Actually, I do. That’s right, Fuck You Ayn! I hope you have 2 migraines at the same fuckin’ time you dirty Whore!!! Anyway, back to Novartis. So, the last time I had a migraine, I was headed towards home and I stopped by Wal-Mart to see what over-the-counter meds they might have for my problem, knowing that I was out of Imitrex. Imitrex being a prescription med for migraines. Over-the-counter medicines rarely work for migraine sufferers. If otc meds work for your migraines, then chances are you don’t have migraines you whiney S.O.B. Well, I see Excedrin meds on the shelf, produced by Novartis. Excedrin wouldn’t work. However, next to it, I see another Excedrin product, labeled: Excedrin Migraine. A glimmer of hope formed in my pain filled head. Long story short: The Excedrin Migraine didn’t work. Yesterday, I looked at bottles of both Excedrin and Excedrin Migraine and I found out that both products contain the EXACT SAME FUCKING INGREDIENTS, in EXACTLY THE SAME GODDAMNED AMOUNTS. Novartis can kiss my ass. They know their product won’t work for migraines, yet they don’t even have the decency to try and alter the formula so it does. They just slap another name on it and sell it to people who assume that the medicine will do what it says it does. Hey, don’t just take my word for it. Look at these information pages on the Excedrin website:
http://www.excedrin.com/products/es_pl.shtml
http://www.excedrin.com/products/migraine_pl.shtml
That’s some unethical business practices right there.

On to the DVD releases for today. I would have posted this yesterday, but I took a sick day from work and slept half the day away. Was I actually sick? My boss will never know the truth.

• Akeelah and the Bee - I really don't care if I ever see this film. Sure, Roger Ebert gave it a thumb's up, but he also gives a truckload of Bostom Creme Pie a thumb's up. Fatass.
• Arrested Development: Season Three - This is yet another example of a really funny show that Fox cancells because they can't look at the "big picture."
• Brother Bear 2 - Another shitty Disney sequel that never should have been made. This is one time that I can see the value of poaching.
• The Chuck Norris Collection - FUCK YEAH!! Stay tuned for some Chuck Norris facts later on in this very blog.
• Darkwing Duck: Volume One - I watched this toon a lot as a wee little tot. All I have to say is: Let's Get Dangerous MotherFuckers!! I added the MotherFuckers part, but I think it sounds "edgey."
• Karate Dog - Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh....yeaaaaaahhhhh. It's time this dog be put to sleep.
• The Lord of the Rings: Limited Edition - This edition covers the release of all three films on DVD today. Each release has both the theatrical and extended versions of each film for under $20 a pop. Easily worth the purchase if you skipped out on buying the huge boxsets previously released.
• Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection Vol. 10 - In the not too distant future, I'll buy this if I ever have the money. Unless that is, I use the spare money to make my robot friends. One or two nerds who actually watch this show will get that last sentence, the rest of you will forever be lost.
• The Sentinel - This film seems like a re-hash of plots used over and over again, but with Keifer Sutherland in what seems to be a very 24-ish role, I'd still like to see it.
• South Park: The Complete Eighth Season - Because I can't afford to buy this, I feel almost as poor as Kenny.
• Stephen King's Desperation - If you're a die-hard Stephen King fan, then watch this. If not, you can pass. It isn't terribly bad, but it has it's problems, mainly acting. Wait for the recent Nightmares & Dreamscapes to be released on DVD if you want some Stephen King television done right.
• Talespin: Volume One - Many of you will remember this as fondly as you remember Darkwing Duck. I never really got into this show though.
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Volume 5 - The 5th, highly anticipated, volume of the classic toon released for my viewing pleasure. I'm way fucking behind on this. I still haven't bought Volumes 3 and 4.
• The Tick vs. Season One - SPOOOOON!!!!! I've been waiting for this one for years and years. Finally, someone has enough intelligence to release this smart, and funny, adaptation of Ben Edlunds comic to the masses.
• Will & Grace: Season Five - I've said it before, but I completely despise this show with every fiber of my being.

That's it. I know I said I'd leave you with Chuck Norris facts, but honestly, I'm suffering from indigestion right now and I don't feel like entertaining you chuckleheads any longer.

I'm gone like Bob's mom's pants at a frat party.

Fuck You Canada!

That's right, I said it. Whatcha' gonna do about it Canada? That's right, nothing you pasty-faced poutine suckin freaks!

My anger is redirected partially towards Canada today because their postal service works about as well as the Pony Express would have worked without horses. I ordered some figures from a place in Toronto called Legends I think. Their price for the figures I wanted was quite reasonable, even with shipping. I ordered these on 8/16, and Legends promptly got my items to Canada Post the same day. When I go to Canada Post to view the tracking status, this is the latest update I get:

2006/08/16
18:17
MONTREAL, QC
Item accepted and entered into sortation plant

It's been in the sortation plant for 8 goddamned days?! It takes Canada Post 8 fuckin' days to look at a correctly addressed package and put it on a truck, train, or plane? UNNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!!! How about you put your Molson down, turn the Hockey game off, get off your lazy asses, AND SHIP ME MY FUCKIN' TOYS!!!!

While I'm on the topic of toys being shipped to me, Fuck England too! A few posts ago, I ranted about the crippled sonofabitch who decided to screw me over a on a toy trade. Well, after I basically told the forums that he posts on that he is, in fact, a sonofabitch, he decides to trade with me after all. To refresh your memory, the toy I wanted was a MOC Absorbing Man from the Hulk Classics line. MOC means Mint On Card for your uneducated hacks. Now, Absorbing Man is one of those figures that's too expensive for me to afford to buy two, however, I do want one out of the package at some point. This handicapped fucker was sending me one in the package, which is worth a good $45. So, he sends me this figure, from England, AirMail. Oh, but here's the kicker: He sends it in a padded envelope. No, not a box that would protect it from the crushing methods used by international airmail, but a PADDED ENVELOPE. He was nice enough to write "Do Not Crush" and "Do Not Bend" and "Fragile" on the envelope. That doesn't help you stupid Jerk-Off. Those words don't "magically" stop other packages from shifting onto it during flight. Those words don't stop the sorting machines from tossing it around like a baby handled by a British nanny. Needless to say, the Absorbing Man was no longer "Mint On Card" when I got it. Sure, the figure was still in his crushed plactic bubble, but the bubble itself had completely detached itself from the card.

I'm sure glad I wanted one out of the package. It's not like I spent a shitload of money for the figure but I was expecting this one to be MOC. It's this man's idiocy that really pisses me off. You send a figure that's rare and highly sought after MOC in an envelope. As I said previously, he should be glad he's already in a wheelchair, otherwise I'd put him in one. He should also feel lucky that he traded with me and not someone else on the board as he was planning to do when he screwed me the first time, because anyome else would have expected this to be MOC and not accepted anything else, and then he really would have been fucked. I'll be sending him the figure he wants in trade in an envelope too. It works both ways assclown.

Alrighty then. I'm done bitching about shipping and am moving on to an pobservation I've made about a certain off-road vehicle. Some people say that you can tell a person by the car he or she drives. Well, I've discovered this is true with one type of vehicle in particular: The Nissan XTerra. I challenge you to be on the lookout for these vehicles and look at the drivers. My three observations on the XTerra are this:
1. Women primarily drive these vehicles.
2. The few men who drive XTerras are preppy tools.
3. Most of the women drivers, or passengers of the male drivers, are really fuckin' hot!
Go ahead and challenge this if you will, but I can almost garauntee that you'll observe the same results. If you see an XTerra, chances are there's a attractive woman behind the wheel. I've personally known several women who drive XTerras and they're all hot. Almost everytime I see an XTerra on the road, there's a hot chick driving it. Now, there are exceptions to this, naturally. The other day, I saw an old couple in an XTerra. However, they might have a really hot daughter. I saw a fat woman driving an XTerra once. She probably has a hot friend though. I believe in my observations and the trend so much that if I were looking through online personals for a hot date, and the woman says she drives an XTerra, I would set-up a date even if there was no pic of her posted. Like I said, keep an eye out and you'll see the trend too.

I'm bored with you. Go.

Ahhh Yeah Son! Ahhh Yeaaah!

I have no idea what that subject line means. No idea whatsoever.


I would have posted today while at work, but I had to finish some homework for school that was due a week ago. I'm sure glad that even in a Master's Degree program, I can procrastinate with little regard to my near perfect GPA.

I honestly have little to talk about tonight. I'll probably post again in a few days.

However, I still have the ambition to give you the down-low on the DVDs being released in 36 minutes:

• Blue Thunder: The Complete Series - I never saw any of this show, only the film it was based on. I can't say whether it's any good or not.
• Conviction: The Complete Series - The whole series? What, like 4 episodes? No one gives a fuck.
• House: Season Two - A good show, but not worth buying.
• Invasion: The Complete First Season - You mean the complete ONLY season. Yeah, this show was cancelled too. I didn't watch it though, so it doesn't bother me at all.
• Poseidon - You can't spell Poseidon without P.O.S.
• Silent Hill - Sure, I heard bad things about this film, but I wanted to see it in the theatres and because I didn't, I want to see it now. RIGHT NOW!!
• Threshold: The Complete Series - What is it today with the shitty canceled shows?! Like Invasion, this is another failed sci-fi show about aliens come to take over the world, or eat us, or whatever aliens do. If aliens ever do invade though, Bob's mom is going to be thrilled since she likes being probed in the ass.

That's it. I'm gone.

This is how I roll.

I drive quite a lot. To go to work, to look for toys, etc. So, it's no wonder that I see quite a lot of interesting things while I'm out on the roads.

Take yesterday for instance.

I've heard that it's quite dangerous to talk on a cell phone while driving. I'm sure that this is true, but even so, there are times where even I talk on the phone while driving. However, I saw someone yesterday that had that beat. I actually saw a woman behind the wheel of an SUV yesterday that was curling her hair. She actually had a curling iron and was curling her hair while driving. And, her stereo was cranked all the way up, so in addition to not being able to actually hold on to the steering wheel, she also wouldn't be able to hear someone scream ans she plows over them in her ignorance. A FUCKING CURLING IRON.

At the same stop light, there's a hobo, or at least a guy acting like one, walking down the sidewalk asking for help from the motorists waiting for the green light. Personally, I've had it with these damn beggars on the streetcorners. I don't fucking care if you're homeless anymore. With gas at $3.00 per gallon, I'm lucky to be able to afford sitting at a red light with my engine running, let along giving you money for your wonderful artistic abilites to make a sign with only a Sharpie and a sheet of cardboard. This hobo yesterday walked up to my window and said this:
"Anything helps sir. Even a prayer. God is in my heart, he sure is. Even a prayer helps."
To which I responded:
"I'm sorry, praying for bums goes against my religion."
Am I an asshole? Really, am I an asshole for no longer wanting to put up with their shit? Am I an asshole for wanting to keep the money I've earned? When I worked at Mervyn's, I donated a little bit out of each check to the Denver Homeless Assistance program, or some organization with a similar name and purpose. I agree that homelessness is a huge problem these days. But the money I donated went to things like soup kitchens and the like. How about you go to one of those for a meal you stupid vagrant? If you really REALLY want help, there are places to help you. The streetcorner isn't one of them.

Also, parking lots aren't one of them either. I can't even say how many times I've been walking through a parking lot at a Wal-Mart or Target and had someone walk up and ask for change. They always give some excuse like, "I ran out of gas," or "My car broke down." I don't give a shit. If I'm shopping at a Wal-Mart, do you really think I have a lot of spare money just laying around?

Also yesterday, I saw another man with a sign. Sometimes, signs have a purpose. Some stand on the streetcorners and give their views about abortion. Some rally for new things to vote on in upcoming elections. Some are just crazy mother fuckers who shouldn't be outside in public. This man yesterday seemed to be a rather unkempt, unshaven man. He was standing on a corner with a big wooden sign that read:
"Kerry throws like a girl"
What the fuck does that even mean?!!? If you'd been out with that sign during the last election about 2 years ago, it may have been relevant. But even then, I still don't see what the fuck that means! Not only is it irrelevant, but it's not that PC in today's society. I was hoping a militant feminist would be drving by, see that, and chuck a glass bottle at his head with Nolan Ryan-like speed. Had that happened, I would have parked my truck, and personally walked over to him to laugh at him.

This morning, on the way to work, I see a bumber sticker that reads:
"A Man and his Truck: It's a Beautiful Thing."
Too bad this bumber sticker was on a 1986 Dodge Caravan. Stupid ass.

You know what else I find completely fuckin' assanine? When I see a shitty car and a driver that takes way too much pride with his shitty car. A rusted-out 1984 Monte Carlo with 3 different colors of paint does not need those shiny spinning rims. A Ford AstroVan with no muffler and the back bumper wired on doesn't deserve neon ground effects.

Hell, since I'm on the subject, I might as well bitch about Mexicans, or latinos, or whatever they want to be called. I see these trucks driving around all the time. They've been lowered and pimped-out and across the back window is this fancy script that reads "Tiajauna" or "Chihauhua" or some other piss-poor region in Mexico that their family hails from. If you're so damn proud of that place, then go back there. You don't see me rollin' around with "Ireland" stencilled out on my back window. You don't see Russian people driving around with bumper stickers that read: "Moscow: Represent Bitches!"

If you have any wonderful driving observations, feel free to make note of them in the comments section.

Another frackin' Monday

Yeah, it's Monday, and once again, I feel as though I wasted a whole weekend. Sure, I got some more pegboard hung up in my toy room and I cleaned part of the apartment, but other then that, what did I do? Very little my friends.

Part of the pegboard job required an x-acto knife, so I figured since I'm buying one, I'll buy one of those nice ones with the locking blade and so forth. Of course, to open the damn thing, an x-acto knife really would have been helpfull.

I've been here at my current job for about a year and a half now. For the second time in that year and a half, I've had to deal with a patron who is mentally deficient enough to think we have movies in the library. This woman asked me 4 times in 50 seconds whether or not our library had any movies. Specifically, movies starring Whoopi Goldberg. This is the same thing she did over a year ago. This is a medical library you stupid hag. We're not going to have a copy of Sister Act sitting on the shelf next to Pulmonary Function Testing for your viewing pleasure. I told your stupid ass then that the public library would be the best option, and that's what I'm telling you today. If I ever see you enter these library doors again, I may just have to run you over with a book cart. Hell, let's make it official and dub thee:
Stupid MotherFucker of the Week

As an updat to last week's "In-Law Fiasco," I still haven't heard anything back from them after sending them the e-mail expressing my displeasure of their actions. This could mean several things. It could mean that they understand my point of view. However, I don't see that as being very likely. It's possible that they're angry at my "nerve" of standing up for what I believe in. That's much more likely. At least their mighty and wrathful God hasn't struck me down yet, so I don't think I'm doing too bad so far.

I'll continue this week's blog as I normally do, with the DVD releases for tomorrow.

• 3rd Rock From the Sun: Season 5 - Honestly, this show went downhill a bit after Season 3 or so, but it's still pretty good.
• Apocalypse Now: The Complete Dossier - A good movie, but I've heard this release lacks a special feature or two that was present in the last release, which was the Redux edition. So really, it isn't "complete" now is it?
• Full House: The Complete Fourth Season - If I even so much as see this on the shelfs tomorrow, I'll puke right there in the store. I swear to God, I hate this show well beyond what the laws of physics allow me to hate.
• Hoot (Platinum Series) - Another one of those movies where a bunch of kids gang together to stop the "evil" developers from killing defenseless animals, in this case, owls. I heard this movie blows hard. If you want a film where evil developers are twarted, go with Ernest Goes to Camp. Sure, it still sucks, but it's Ernest.
• I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer - Apparently, this film is about a different group of teens that get someone killed through reckless hooliganism. Also, like the previous film mentioned, this one is also supposed to blow hard. If you don't want me to spoil the film, don't read the next sentence. The killer in the film is still the fisherman guy. Yeah, the same fisherman guy that dies in the last film. The killer here is the ghost of the fisherman guy who avenges wrongful deaths or some stupid shit like that. I'm not kidding here in the least. They should have called this film: I Still Don't Give a Fuck What You Did Last Summer.
• RV (Widescreen) - I like Robin Williams as much as the next guy, but in dramatic roles. I'm sick of his, "Look at me, I'm so funny when I act like a fuckin' idiot" routine. This film got a rating of 23% on RottenTomatoes as opposed to Hoot's 26% rating. Just do yourself a favor and NEVER watch this film.
• Scary Movie 4 (Widescreen Edition - Unrated & Uncensored) - I HATE this entire series. I HATE the fact that with all the good screenwriters trying to get their ideas made into films, Hollywood keeps making this unentertaining SHIT. It's just a waste of time.
• The Simpsons: The Complete Eighth Season - By the time they catch up to releasing the most current season, DVD won't even be an accepted format anymore.
• Surface: The Complete Series - This show was good enough to keep my interest for a whole 7 episodes. It had an interesting premise, but it moved so god damn slow in releasing information to the viewer, that I just gave up on it. Appently the network did as well since 1 season is all it will ever have.
• Survivor: Paulau - The Complete Season - I can understand why people like this show. Personally, I don't care for it, but I can see its appeal to the mindless masses. What I can't understand is how this show has any replay value. Once you've seen it, you've seen it.

Alright, that's it for tomorrow. There's actually quite a lot being released, but as you can see, most of it isn't worth shit.

By the time I write another entry into this blog, the film Snakes on a Plane will be released in theatres. I've bashed this film quite alot. Everything from the concept to the title. However, even I can't deny that Samuel L. Jackson is the man, and even though this movie seems dumber than a 50 lb. sack full of stupid, you have to admire Mr. Jackson's comment when asked about the nudity in the film:

"You have two people goin' to screw in a bathroom on a plane and you know that there are some snakes on there... you know that when that tit comes out, you want to see a snake on that tit! At some point you gonna go, "Man, I know a snake's going to show up somewhere... and hopefully that snake's going to be on that tit!"

Thank you for the eloquent comment Sam. You truly are the master of telling people what they want to hear.

In-Laws Be Damned!

Normally I wouldn't post on a Wednesday like this, but normally, I wouldn't be so GodDamn pissed on a Wednesday either.

Who the fuck do my future parent-in-laws think they are anyway? Normally, I'd say that they're good people, and I get along with them fairly well, but today they can piss the fuck off. While Samantha was talking to her mother on the phone about our wedding in 2 years, Sam's mom asked if we picked a church yet. Jokingly, I said I was thinking about the Church of Satan. Now Sam's parents are quite religious, but they know that I joke around, it's who I am. This happened over a week ago. Last night, Sam's dad asks to speak with me on the phone. Apparently, my joke really upset Sam's mom and I was told that I should apologize to her to "mend the bridges."

FUCK THAT. I shouldn't have to apologize because I "offended" someone with a joke made in MY car in the city where I live about MY wedding. If I called her mom a fat ass, which she is, I could see where she'd be offended and where it might be right for me to apologize. Being told that I should apologize for the joke is a fucking insult to me and what I believe in, least of which is FREEDOM OF SPEECH. I certainly shouldn't have to watch every damn thing I say for fear of "burning down bridges." You don't have to like me, or even accept me as part of the family, but by God, you will respect my rights you intolerant sons of bitches.

The e-mail they'll be getting shortly will explain this to them.

I haven't done this in a few weeks so I'll take this time to award the next recipient of the:
Stupid Mother Fucker of the Week Award
This week, the winner is a man who works here where I do. He doesn't work in the library, instead, he works in the custodial department. Oh how fitting. This man, who from now on will be dubbed Fucky McFuckAss, called me over to help him with an e-mail problem. His problem was, everytime he tried to send this one e-mail, he got a message saying that the e-mail address was incorrect. He was trying to send an e-mail to Wells Fargo about a banking problem, and this was the e-mail address he was entering:
www.wellsfargo.com
News Flash Dumbshit: That's not a fucking e-mail address, it's a web address you toilet cleaning idiot. I find it amazing that in this world of the internet, there are still jackholes who can't work this shit. The internet has been around for public use for over ten years now. If it takes you 10 years to learn the basic principles behind e-mail, it's no fucking wonder you're emptying trash cans for a living. Congratulations you poor dumb bastard. Congratulations.

I'll review a movie for you as quickly as I can. I've mentioned the film Nochnoy Dozor here before as a film I really wanted to see. I'll just call the movie Night Watch as that's the American translation. Night Watch is a Russian film and is the start of a trilogy. The basic plot is the battle between good and evil "others" and how centuries ago, a truce was set-up to prevent the battle from destroying everything. The "others" range from vampires to shape shifters, etc. The NightWatch (good guys) and the DayWatch (bad guys) are supposed to keep each other in check. When an "other" realizes what he/she is, he/she must choose to either be on the light side or the dark side. Along comes this child who's supposedly very powerful, and his choice will determine what side ultimately wins. Yeah, it's pretty cliched.

Now, this film is classified by some, including Bloackbuster, as a horror. I'm tired of movies that aren't horror being called horror films. It cheapens the genre. This movie isn't scary in the least, but I will say, it's interesting. It moves a bit slow here and there which is one of it's flaws. The movie itself almost fails on it's own, but being that it's part of a trilogy, it succeeds in making me want to see the remaining two films.

Upon watching the trailer for this film, I had the fear that the movie would be chock full of the surreal images that the trailer is full of. Surreal can be good, but I also like plot, acting, etc. Surreal images make me say ooh and ah, but too much is too much. Thankfully, the only surreal images in the film were those seen in the trailer. I must add, the special effects for those select surreal images are quite good, but I'm glad they were kept at a minimum. Maybe they'll increase with the next film as the major characters have been fleshed out.

I'm not sure if I'd buy this for my collection or not. I'm on the fence about it. I definately think it's worth a rental though.

Alright, now I'm done. Begone with you from my tasty blog.

The class sucks

As does any class where I'm made to dress up and wear a fuckin' tie for a group presentation. We're all adults here, and we all know how to dress up when the need arises. I don't think I should have to bust my ass to prove to the professor that I can be presentable. And to all of you naysayers, I CAN be presentable, I just choose to be a lazy, unkempt bastard the majority of my life.

Honestly, in everyday life, what does dressing up get you? Absolutely nothing. If I see a guy walking through Target with a long sleeve shirt and a tie on, I don't think, "Wow, he must be a successfull professional and I commend him for taking pride in his appearance." No, instead I'd probably think, "Hey, nice job overachiever. Do you put on a fuckin' bowtie to wash the dishes?" The only time a dressy appearance helps is in a job interview, or to make your parents think you give a shit about Jesus Christ when they drag you to church on Easter Sunday. Actually wearing a tie and shit doesn't matter unless it's required of the job. If it isn't required, then the boss knows the only reason you dressed up for the interview was to suck up enough to get the job. The boss KNOWS you don't care after that, and if the boss thinks you do care that much, then they're too damn dumb to be a manager.

Fuck ties I say! Hell, fuck clean clothes! If I want to run around in a t-shirt stained with burrito sauce and rum, by god, who the hell is my boss to say I can't? The only way we can destroy these social norms is by standing up for what we believe in.

mmmmmmm........burritos......

Speaking of tasty bean-filled goodness has led my mind to the DVD releases for this Tuesday. I wish DVDs came with refried beans.

• The Brak Show: Volume 2 - Oh Brak, you make me chuckle. You're funny Brak, oh so funny.
• Bring it On: All or Nothing - A sequel based upon a movie that only cheerleaders liked. Were there really that many cheerleaders screaming for this film to be made? I don't think so. I Don't Think So.
• Inside Man - A Spike Lee film that isn't a Spike Lee film. Normally, Spike Lee doesn't make mainstream blockbuster-type films. I'd actually like to see this and I'll Netflix it. Isn't that the term the kiddies use these days? Netflix?
  
• Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector - Were there really that many fat guys with trucker hats screaming for this film to be made? The answer to this question would probably surprise me.
• Prison Break: Season One - This show actually wasn't that bad. It wasn't one of those shows that I "Had To" watch, but when I caught an episode, I liked it.
• Sealab 2021: Sason IIII - This show is some funny shit and you KNOW it. Don't try to deny it, you laugh your ass off every damn time you see this show.
  
• Untimate Avengers 2 - Alrighty, I'm torn on this one. The 1st one kinda sucked. however, since I'm a tool for anything Marvel, I want to buy it anyway. Plus, I heard if you buy it at ToysRUs, you get a free Captain America or Iron Man MiniMate. I'm a tool for free toys too. Don't say I didn't warn you though, I'm sure this show blows too.

That's it for this fine evening. You'll be thrilled to know that I typed all this while ignoring my fat instructor drone on about inane shit.

I bet she was looking forward the the Larry the Cable Guy movie.

Tune in next week when I tell you what NOT to buy.

SPAM!!!!!

Ok. Now I realize that almost every E-Mail address is subject to an influx of SPAM messages. Mine however, is much worse. Maybe it's because I've had this e-mail address for about 6 years, but in the last 45 minutes, I've gotten 16, make that 17 SPAM messages in my SPAM folder. I don't know why I'm capitalizing the word SPAM, but it just seems like the right thing to do. Let me entertain you with a few of the SPAM message Subject lines I've gotten recently and my thoughts on them:

• Re: Re: Multiple o'rgasms - SPAM, Now with unnecessary punctuation!
• Claim your $1,000 Kmart Gift Card - I don't think there's $1,000 worth of inventory in a K-Mart.
• scrow98: Cheese Cake Factory Offer Confirmation #BRUQ-8118 - I don't know what all those numbers and letters at the end of the subject mean, but I know that if you can't trust Cheesecake from an unidentified source, what can you trust? That's what my mom always said.
• Earn Your Nursing Degree Online - How the fuck can you learn to insert an IV in online classes?! I can see someone falling for the Cheesecake bit, but this?
• Hungry giIrs paussies phones sprinkled - WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS EVEN MEAN?!?
• CONGRATULATION!!! CONGRATULATION!!! CONGRATULATION!!! - Uhhhhh, thanks.

So there you have it, just a small sample of the shit I get everyday. Some of them are actually quite entertaining.

I have very little to say today. For the time being, I'll blog here, but I'm in the process of setting up a website of my own and hopefully I'll be able to blog there, but the functioning website is a few months away. Anyways, like I said, I have very little to say today, so I'll just move on the the DVD releases.

• Alice in Wonderland (1985) - I'm going to sound like the gayest gay in all of Gayland when I say this, but I'm looking forward to seeing this again. I watched it numerous times as a small child and it holds a special place in my cold dead heart. The cast in theis version is pretty amazing. Who knows, it may suck and I may hate it now, but I'll just have to watch it again to be sure. By the way, Gayland is a nice place to visit, especially this time of year. I wouldn't recommend living there though, unless you really, really, really, like anal sex. Looks like I've found Andy a new home! Ha cha cha cha!!
• Beavis and Butt-Head, Vol. 3: The Mike Judge Collection - I've yet to buy Vol. 1 and 2, but that's not because I don't want to. It's because I'm a poor poor sonovabitch.
• The Black Hole - No, this isn't the Disney film that's actually quite good. This is the made for Sci-Fi channel movie that is actually quite bad. It stars Bender from The Breakfast Club.
• V For Vendetta (Two-Disc Special Edition) - This is a film that I highly recommend and that I'll be stopping by Target to buy once I get off of work today. Sure, there's a single disc version too, but why buy that when you can spend a few dollars more and get so much more. In all actuality, I probably won't take the time to watch most of the special features, but I'm such a tool for the term "Special Edition." It makes me feel special.

And that's it, but a trip to the DVD Hut wouldn't be a wasted trip today, not with Beavis and V.

I sure hope Andy gets internet again soon so he can read that Gayland insult.