What I Hated in 2008

This is is a list of things I hated in 2008.

Starting with general things,

Fanboys that bitch too much:

Seriously, I don't give a flying shit what these obsessive, basement-dwelling fanboys have to say about anything. Oh, you didn't like the new Indiana Jones film because it didn't feel like the old films? Oh, you weren't happy with how Abomination looked in The Incredible Hulk? Oh, you're upset that a black man got cast as Ripcord (a white man) in the upcoming G.I. Joe film? Guess what, NOBODY CARES BUT YOU. I don't see you making these films. I don't see your name attached as director. I don't think the director is calling you for ideas. Even when the studios listen to fanboys, they STILL bitch. Lexi Alexander heard the collective cries of Punisher fans when she made Punisher: War Zone. The fanboys wanted more violence. The fanboys wanted an iconic villian. The fanboys wanted it closer to the comic. Lexi did all of these things and made the film, in my opinion. pretty darn well considering the source material. Yet, the fanboys still weren't happy. I wish fanboys around the world would just SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

Sarah Palin

I can't say I hate this woman, because I've never met her, but I'm pretty sure I would, so she's on this list. I know I hate her ignorance. I know I hate her arrogance. I know I hate her ultra-conservative viewpoints. I know I hate what she named her children. What I especially hate is that she had the nerve to accept the Vice-Presidential nomination knowing that she wasn't qualified. Seriously, what a selfish fucking thing to do. She KNEW she wouldn't be able to live up to the expectations of the office, yet she still did her best to get there even if it meant the country would suffer for it.

I hate McCain too, for being selfish enough to offer the job to her. The only reason he did it was to get the woman vote, NOT because she was right for the job.

Brian not coming to my wedding

Yeah, that's right motherfucker, I'm still pissed about that one. Not that I expect you to actually read this blog. Your irresponsible ass can't manage to pay the cell phone bill on time, so I can't expect you to keep the internet connection active.

Let's move on to television.

The Learning Channel

The name would lead one to believe that you can actually learn something by watching The Learning Channel. That is not true. I hated TLC this year because there was nothing on the channel in the least bit educational. Let me run down the shows on TLC that I hate, shows that have no business being on a channel that's supposed to be focused on teaching.

Jon & Kate Plus 8: A show all about the family life of two parents who have 8 kids. It's just a camera crew documenting the life of this family. I guess I'm supposed to be entertained by the spectacle of a large family.

17 Kids and Counting: Another stupid fucking show about a huge family.

Little People, Big World: Here's another family show, but this one is special because it isn't about a large family. This one is about a family of "little people," or as I like to call them, midgets. The show tries to emphasize that this family is able to overcome the challenges of being so goddamn short, but if you actually watch the show, you'll know the main reason they overcome adversity is through money. The show only ends up proving that you can overcome a lot if you throw enough money at things.

Toddlers & Tiaras: This one is about little kids who compete in beauty pageants.

What Not to Wear: Here's how this show works. 1. Family of friends nominate someone to get a makeover. 2. The hots surprise the person. 3. The hosts throw out the person's old clothes and give them money for new clothes. 4. The hosts help them buy new and fashionable clothing. 5. The person has their hair restyled. 6. The "new" person is revealed to family and friends. I can't tell you how much I hate this show, and I really can't tell you why either. Maybe it's the fact that it sends the message that looks are the most important thing. Maybe it's because no matter what the person's reason is for keeping an old item of clothing, it's tossed anyway because it's not "fasionable." Maybe it's because I think the hosts are insanely arrogant and out of line to assume they know what's best for someone else and spend the entire episode making value judgments and chastising someone elses fashion decisions. Whatever the reason, I hope this show dies.

Those are just a few shows that are on TLC. None of them are worth watching, and none of them should be considered educational.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

I didn't see the feature film of the same name. I don't want to. Sadly, that film spawned Cartoon Network's Clone Wars series, which is infinitely more horrible than the first Clone Wars cartoon series. The first series was actually quite good. This new one, on the other hand, is near unwatchable. The problem with it is, George Lucas believes that in order to appeal to kids, one has to fill a show with childish jokes EVERY GODDAMN SCENE.

There is a major difference between Kid films, and Family films. Kid films are targeted just to kids. These are the films that are so ungodly kid-oriented, that adults would rather kill themselves than watch the film. Kids enjoy Kid films, adults don't.

family films are those that appeal to BOTH kids and adults without having to resort to the obvious kid-friendly fart jokes and the like. Pretty much any Disney/Pixar film is a good example of a Family film. EVERY age group can enjoy those.

Sadly, The Clone Wars is filled with far too many groan inducing jokes and puns that make it unenjoyable for anyone over the age of 10. I hate it because it had the potential to be good, but failed.

Finally, Films

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

No, I didn't see this film. What I hate about it is that it was #1 at the box office for TWO weeks in October. How the fuck can a film this shitty beat out a film like Eagle Eye? I'm not saying Eagle Eye was perfect, but it was leaps and bounds beyond Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

Wanted

I had such high hopes for this film. I truly hated the graphic novel this was based off of, so when I heard the plot of the movie was radically different, I hoped that would make it enjoyable. This movie was just goddamn ridiculous. That's the only way I can put it. I'm glad I didn't waste any money seeing this, because had I, I'd be pissed.

Be Kind, Rewind

I did waste money on this one. This is the perfect example of how critics can be horribly wrong. This has a 68% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I saw this rating and thought, "It seems like this film is better than average, I should see it." First of all, the acting was pretty crappy. Secondly, the plot was freaking absurd. Thirldy (which is not a word), the "happy feel-good" ending was so "happy feel-good" that I wanted to vomit.

However, the biggest fault of Be Kind, Rewind is that it was billed as a comedy. I expect a comedy to make me laugh. I don't care how good the writing, plot, acting, directing, score, etc. is. In the end, if a comedy is funny, than it succeeds as a comedy. I didn't laugh watching Be Kind, Rewind. Not once. Not even a chuckle. Last night I watched Balls of Fury. Balls of Fury has a 23% Rotten Tomatoes rating. To most critics, it is a bad film. I laughed, several times in fact. Therefore, it was a more successful comedy than Be Kind, Rewind, which has a much higher rating.

That's it for my What I Hated in 2008 review. I actually hated a lot more, but typing bores me. If I left you out and you feel like you should have been mentioned here, I'm sorry.