I know I haven't posted here in a week. I apologize to all the people who eagery look forward to my regular postings each Monday. I let you down and I'm truly sorry.
Actually, I'm not sorry at all. This is just a blog, and if you look forward to this one specifically out of the thousands avaiable, you have serious issues.
Let me start off with something very important: Beer. Tomorrow night I'll be attending the Great American Beer Festival here in Denver for the third year. This truly is an event to behold for any of those out there like myself who enjoy a good beer every now and then. Or everyday. This is, according to the GABF website, the largest selection of American beers ever gathered together in the United States. The best thing about the whole thing for me is that I get in free due to certain "connections" I have in the industry. Admission for this event is normally $50. In addition to getting in free, I get to use the employee/volunteer entrance meaning I don't have to stand in line like all the other poor fuckers who had to pay for their tickets. 1600 beers for me to try free of charge. Another plus that I feel like I need to mention: There are quite a lot of 21 year old partially-inebriated women at the GABF. A lot of these women are quite good looking. Sure, I'm engaged to a near perfect woman, but I don't mind being surrounded by countless bueatiful women from time to time. I can at least appreciate this opportunity. Plus, Samantha won't be there to tell me I can't look at these women since she's allergic to beer. What a shame. What a shame.
Seriously thouh, if you're ever in Denver around the end of September and you really like beer, attending the GABF would be worth your time. Even at $50, it's not a bad deal considering all the beer to be sampled.
Time to move on to something almost as important as beer: Television. Every year, at this time, we're treated to a bunch of new television shows. Some are good, and some blow ass. Jericho is one of the new shows that's actually quite good. However, I must rant about it just a little bit. It's suppossed to take place in Kansas. Keep that in mind. The general story is that the residents of this Kansas town, named Jericho, are cut-off from the rest of the world when a mushroom cloud appears over Denver. The view of the mushroom cloud is quite spectacular from Jericho. The residents look over the plans and see the Rocky Mountains with the mushroom cloud blossoming into the sky from behind the mountains. There are 2 problems with this:
1. Anyone who is even remotely familiar with Kansas and Colorado know that you can't see the Rocky Mountains from anywhere in Kansas. You're just too damn far away. You have to drive an hour into Colorado before the mountains are visable. You would have to be 30 minutes to an hour outside of Denver before the mountains would look as they did from Jericho.
2. The mushroom cloud appeared as though it came from behind the Rocky Mountains. Denver is on the Eastern slope of the Rockies you ignorant fucks. The mushroom cloud should be in front of the mountains from the Kansas perspective.
Now I don't mind a bit of un-realism in television. Sometimes, due to shooting constraints, locations have to be shot elsewhere, etc. But this is just a dumb ass oversight that no one thought to verify or correct. Take the show Jerimiah, which ran for 2 seasons on Showtime. It was another post-apocalyptic type show. It kinda sucked, but I digress. In Jerimiah, the main character, aptly named Jerimiah, had to go to the Denver Public Library. The building filmed wasn't the actual Denver Public Library, in fact, it looked nothing like it. However, the producers of the show took time to at least get certain facts right, like the location. Jerimiah mentioned that the library could be found at 14th and Colfax. That's exactly where it is. If you need a point of reference, while in Denver, Bob's mom can be found on the corner of 9th and Colfax. My point is simple. When filming a show, at least try your best to get as many things right as you can.
So normally I would have reviewed the DVD releases for this week a few days ago, but there really wasn't much released of note. However, because some of you depend on it, I'll lump a few releases into two categories for you.
DVDs probably worth buying provided you don't already own them: Dracula: 75th Anniversary Legacy Edition, Frankenstein: 75th Anniversary Legacy Edition, A Nightmare on Elm Street (Infinifilm), The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (2-Disc Ultimate Edition - 1973), Voltron: Defender of the Universe (Collector's Edition)
DVDs you never want to buy because the films/shows contained on them suck dick: Curious George, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, The Lake House, Save the Last Dance (Special Collector's Edition), Thunder in Paradise Collection.
Beowulf and Grendel was also released. I'm not sure where to put this one because I haven't seen it. I've been waiting for a good Beowulf movie for quite some time, and according to a number of reviews, this may be a pretty good attempt. One thing is for certain: Stay the hell away from the 1999 version of Beowulf staring Christopher Lambert. It isn't bad for a cheap movie, but's it isn't worthy of the epic poem it's based on.
That's it for now. If you don't like it, shove it up your pooper.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Sunday Drive
I was driving to work today, as I normally do since I can’t afford to pay anyone to drive me. The morning show that’s on when I’m headed to work made some sacrilegious joke about the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ. I laughed. After laughing, I got to thinking, if Jesus Christ really did return to Earth now, what would he drive?
He’d have to drive. It’s not like the good old days when you slap on a new pair of lamb-hide sandals and trot to wherever you’re headed. Jesus would definitely need a motor vehicle to get around these days. That is, unless Jesus Christ can also fly as well as walk on water. If that’s the case, then he obviously wouldn’t need a car.
Let’s assume that he can’t fly. Being that Jesus is the son of God, money really wouldn’t be an issue. Jesus could afford any vehicle that suits his needs. The Pope has his pimped-out , bullet-proof Popemobile, and he’s not near as rich as Jesus. Jesus has gots the Benjamins. What you have to ask is: What kind of factors would go into Jesus’ decision as he’s walking through the car dealer’s lot?
Is Jesus humble? If he is indeed still humble after all these years, he’d probably go for a Kia Spectra, or a similar small car with little to no leg room and a trunk large enough to comfortably fit a box of Handi-Wipes for when those pesky wrist stigmata start to seep. Of course, a small car like this would also be good on gas mileage, and if Jesus is humble, then he’d logically also be concerned about such things as the environment.
Maybe Jesus isn’t so humble anyone. Maybe he just wants to make a statement and bring attention to the fact that he’s back, and righteous like never before. In this case, He’d probably go with something big and flashy. Maybe a pearl white Cadillac Escalade with gold chrome accents? Oh, he’d be rollin’ in style then. Gas mileage really wouldn’t be an issue. I mean, if he can turn water into wine, then turning water into Premium Unleaded shouldn’t be a problem.
Maybe practicality is the issue. Maybe Jesus wants to do humanitarian works while here on Earth again, like building houses for the homeless, or driving little old ladies to the doctor’s office. A Ford F-150 would be perfect for him. The bed of an F-150 is perfect to toss building supplies, or little old ladies, into for hauling around where needed. Personally, he may want a truck just in case he’s made to carry a large cross up another steep hill before getting crucified on said cross. I mean, there’s no need to do more work than you have to. He’s learned from the past.
Maybe a four-wheeled vehicle is too much for him. Maybe a motorcycle would be best for J.C. He could grab a Harley, some leather chaps and a nice jacket, and be on his way to bless the masses in style. Of course, he’d want to buy a helmet too. Safety first. It would suck if Jesus took a spill and dashed his brains across 2 lanes of Interstate asphalt while on his way to rid an orphan of cancer.
No, I take that back. A motorcycle wouldn’t work for Jesus at all. If Jesus was confined to operate solely in Miami, Florida it wouldn’t be a problem, but the man is going to have to travel quite a lot. He’ll be driving all over the world in many different climates. A motorcycle just wouldn’t do Jesus justice in the middle of a Russian winter. He’ll never be driving in France or Mexico however, since God officially disowned those countries, and the people therein, about 14 years ago. New Mexico is still cool with God though, but just barely.
An ambulance might fit Jesus perfectly. Replace the large red cross with a regular cross, but leave the lights and sirens. Jesus would use those to quickly make his way to “spiritual emergencies” or to the Old Country Buffet on steak and shrimp night. An ambulance just screams “heal,” and by God, that’s what Jesus is all about.
Then again, Jesus does look like a hippie, so maybe he’d go with a Volkswagon mini-bus, or a full-size school bus for that matter. You see religious folk all the time driving around in an old school bus with crosses and pro-Jesus slogans slathered on the side. I don’t see this as the best choice for Jesus though. Sure, he may look like a hippie, but if Jesus taught us one thing, it’s that judging people is wrong, and stereotyping people based on appearance is judging. His life story also taught us that it’s cool to give a newborn baby incense from Ethiopia, so not everything transfers into modern-day life so well.
A motorcycle also wouldn’t work because, like the Pope, Jesus needs some protection. There would surely be some crazie out there who thinks it’d be a good idea to cap Christ. Now, Jesus could go to the same dealership that the Pope goes to and pick himself up a fancy golf cart, but I’m thinking that Jesus wants a little more speed than that.
Jesus could go with a sports car, complete with a spoiler made out of the same material that makes up those nasty paper-thin Communion wafers, but I don’t think J.C. would spend that much money simply for speed. Maybe after 40 or so good years without being nailed to a cross for the sins of mankind will give him a reason to splurge
My final vehicle idea would be a hearse. I mean, there is that whole “rising from the dead and resurrection” aspect to him. Plus, if he does happen to get nailed to a cross and speared in the chest again, he can drive himself to the cemetery.
Alright, it’s time for me to go to Hell now.
He’d have to drive. It’s not like the good old days when you slap on a new pair of lamb-hide sandals and trot to wherever you’re headed. Jesus would definitely need a motor vehicle to get around these days. That is, unless Jesus Christ can also fly as well as walk on water. If that’s the case, then he obviously wouldn’t need a car.
Let’s assume that he can’t fly. Being that Jesus is the son of God, money really wouldn’t be an issue. Jesus could afford any vehicle that suits his needs. The Pope has his pimped-out , bullet-proof Popemobile, and he’s not near as rich as Jesus. Jesus has gots the Benjamins. What you have to ask is: What kind of factors would go into Jesus’ decision as he’s walking through the car dealer’s lot?
Is Jesus humble? If he is indeed still humble after all these years, he’d probably go for a Kia Spectra, or a similar small car with little to no leg room and a trunk large enough to comfortably fit a box of Handi-Wipes for when those pesky wrist stigmata start to seep. Of course, a small car like this would also be good on gas mileage, and if Jesus is humble, then he’d logically also be concerned about such things as the environment.
Maybe Jesus isn’t so humble anyone. Maybe he just wants to make a statement and bring attention to the fact that he’s back, and righteous like never before. In this case, He’d probably go with something big and flashy. Maybe a pearl white Cadillac Escalade with gold chrome accents? Oh, he’d be rollin’ in style then. Gas mileage really wouldn’t be an issue. I mean, if he can turn water into wine, then turning water into Premium Unleaded shouldn’t be a problem.
Maybe practicality is the issue. Maybe Jesus wants to do humanitarian works while here on Earth again, like building houses for the homeless, or driving little old ladies to the doctor’s office. A Ford F-150 would be perfect for him. The bed of an F-150 is perfect to toss building supplies, or little old ladies, into for hauling around where needed. Personally, he may want a truck just in case he’s made to carry a large cross up another steep hill before getting crucified on said cross. I mean, there’s no need to do more work than you have to. He’s learned from the past.
Maybe a four-wheeled vehicle is too much for him. Maybe a motorcycle would be best for J.C. He could grab a Harley, some leather chaps and a nice jacket, and be on his way to bless the masses in style. Of course, he’d want to buy a helmet too. Safety first. It would suck if Jesus took a spill and dashed his brains across 2 lanes of Interstate asphalt while on his way to rid an orphan of cancer.
No, I take that back. A motorcycle wouldn’t work for Jesus at all. If Jesus was confined to operate solely in Miami, Florida it wouldn’t be a problem, but the man is going to have to travel quite a lot. He’ll be driving all over the world in many different climates. A motorcycle just wouldn’t do Jesus justice in the middle of a Russian winter. He’ll never be driving in France or Mexico however, since God officially disowned those countries, and the people therein, about 14 years ago. New Mexico is still cool with God though, but just barely.
An ambulance might fit Jesus perfectly. Replace the large red cross with a regular cross, but leave the lights and sirens. Jesus would use those to quickly make his way to “spiritual emergencies” or to the Old Country Buffet on steak and shrimp night. An ambulance just screams “heal,” and by God, that’s what Jesus is all about.
Then again, Jesus does look like a hippie, so maybe he’d go with a Volkswagon mini-bus, or a full-size school bus for that matter. You see religious folk all the time driving around in an old school bus with crosses and pro-Jesus slogans slathered on the side. I don’t see this as the best choice for Jesus though. Sure, he may look like a hippie, but if Jesus taught us one thing, it’s that judging people is wrong, and stereotyping people based on appearance is judging. His life story also taught us that it’s cool to give a newborn baby incense from Ethiopia, so not everything transfers into modern-day life so well.
A motorcycle also wouldn’t work because, like the Pope, Jesus needs some protection. There would surely be some crazie out there who thinks it’d be a good idea to cap Christ. Now, Jesus could go to the same dealership that the Pope goes to and pick himself up a fancy golf cart, but I’m thinking that Jesus wants a little more speed than that.
Jesus could go with a sports car, complete with a spoiler made out of the same material that makes up those nasty paper-thin Communion wafers, but I don’t think J.C. would spend that much money simply for speed. Maybe after 40 or so good years without being nailed to a cross for the sins of mankind will give him a reason to splurge
My final vehicle idea would be a hearse. I mean, there is that whole “rising from the dead and resurrection” aspect to him. Plus, if he does happen to get nailed to a cross and speared in the chest again, he can drive himself to the cemetery.
Alright, it’s time for me to go to Hell now.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
It's almost Monday
I'm starting this post a bit early. It's due mainly because I'm bored.
I'm watching the show Cops now. I love this show. It's always fun to see a fat guy get tazed or a drunken bar bitch get clocked with a nightstick. I'm sorry, I guess they're called "batons" nowadays. Sometimes though, I don't understand some of the things these police officers say. For instance, a cop said "Did you know it's illegal to trade dope for a motor vehicle?" No shit. If it's illegal to own, sell, or produce meth, then does there even need to be a law against using it as currency?
If a cop finds a guy who intends to sell bags of powdered sugar as cocaine, how can they charge him with "Posession of a conterfiet controlled substance." It's fuckin' powdered sugar! I know that he intended to sell it as drugs, but it wasn't drugs!! It isn't the guy's fault that some dumbass would be willing to pay him for a tiny bag of powdered sugar. I just can't see that as a legal thing to charge someone with.
Well, I'm the last person who should question anything's legality, what with the multiple laws I've broken over the years.
I'm no good at transitions, so here are the DVD releases for Tuesday:
I'm watching the show Cops now. I love this show. It's always fun to see a fat guy get tazed or a drunken bar bitch get clocked with a nightstick. I'm sorry, I guess they're called "batons" nowadays. Sometimes though, I don't understand some of the things these police officers say. For instance, a cop said "Did you know it's illegal to trade dope for a motor vehicle?" No shit. If it's illegal to own, sell, or produce meth, then does there even need to be a law against using it as currency?
If a cop finds a guy who intends to sell bags of powdered sugar as cocaine, how can they charge him with "Posession of a conterfiet controlled substance." It's fuckin' powdered sugar! I know that he intended to sell it as drugs, but it wasn't drugs!! It isn't the guy's fault that some dumbass would be willing to pay him for a tiny bag of powdered sugar. I just can't see that as a legal thing to charge someone with.
Well, I'm the last person who should question anything's legality, what with the multiple laws I've broken over the years.
I'm no good at transitions, so here are the DVD releases for Tuesday:
- Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.5 - This is the best show I've seen in a while. I still can't believe that this is a sci-fi channel production, cause they produce some real filth.
- The Boris Karloff Collection - It's always good to see classic movies released. With the mass of crap released every week, it's nice to have the classics too. Although, these could be shitty movies too!
- He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: Season 2 Volume 2 - Joke all you want, cause you know that when all is said and done, you'll own this.
- My Name is Earl: the Complete First Season - This is one of the few shows on nBC i can stand. It's pretty funny, but I don't think it's worth buying.
- Stay Alive - Maybe half of the people who saw this in theatres will buy this. So, maybe 6 people.
- The Unit: Season 1 - I've heard this was a pretty good show. Maybe I'll rent it.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Thanks for nothing asshole
I like it when the people in "the know" answer questions for us ignorant peons yearning for the truth.
Now, I may be one of the only 7 or 8 people in the world who liked the 1st Hulk film. Yeah, it had some problems, but Ang Lee tried to make a complex film with many levels. It wasn't just a one-dimensional action film. And maybe that's why it failed. Maybe it was too complex. However, Louis Leterrier, who has directed the Transporter films and Unleashed, has been attached to direct The Incredible Hulk, despite the 1st film's failures. I liked the Transporter. The 2nd one kinda sucked. And, I was completely surprised by Unleashed. It was much better than I expected and I plan to someday add it to my DVD collection.
So, let's get back to my original statement. I like it when the big shots take time to answer questions. Jesse Falcon, a bigwig with ToyBiz, answers questions on Marvel Legends toys every other day on one of the message boards. he doesn't have to, but he takes the time to answer our questions anyway. Superhero Hype got a chance to interview Louis Leterrier about The Incredible Hulk film, and instead of linking you to it, I'll just paste it here:
Q: Can you confirm the method for which the Hulk will be presented?
We're studying every method and we'll pick the best method for every shot. It's important to make the Hulk tactile in this one. As an audience member I love to be confused and not know if it's CGI, animatronic, make-up (loved Davy Jones in Pirates... all CG!!!).
Q: Can you confirm if Dominic Purcell is in talks for a role in your movie, and possibly what role that is.
Let me show you something...
ITW: Hello Louis Leterrier.
LL: Hi.
ITW: I hear you've been asked to direct Indiana Jones 4.
LL: Huh...
ITW: INDY, you're so lucky!!!
LL: Huh, well, I love these films but...
ITW:That's going to be amazing. Good luck"
... and a day later every one says that LL is directing the next Indy.
Listen to Dominic Purcell's interview again.
Q: Will you get Statham a role in this film if not Abomination perhaps someone in the military.
He's Betty...
Q: We know the budget is not over 180 million per the terms of the merril deal but do you have an estimate yet? Zak said it was quite a bit.
It's enough. Listen, I made Transporter 1 for 17M$, Unleashed for 20M$ and Transporter 2 for 22M$ (this one could have used a couple of extra bucks, sorry about some of the vfx's). I'm used to small budgets. This one's very big in Hollywood standards and huge compared to my first films. I'm going to put every penny on screen.
Q: Is Bana officially eliminated from contention or is he still a possibility?
He's not out.
Q: How far are we away from a casting announcement and a release date?
Nothing's set.
Q: Is this a sequel or not? There has been alot of confusion over this. Sometimes yes, and other times no.
It's a hard question to answer. You have to be the judge of that when you see the film.
Q: Is Lou Ferrigno really in the running to voice Hulk? (I hope not)
I've only met Lou once and I was star-struck. Who do you think should do the voice?
Q: Avi & Zak have said they liked the action in the first film (desert battle), do you also share this opinion? And plan to live upto/top it?
There's only one way out of this one and it's up...
Q: Ang sometimes used interesting wipes to go between shots, although you don't need to, will you slip a few in during editing for people like me that loved that?
Too early to say.
Q: Was the distancing from the first movie (even as a sequel) at Comic-Con more of a way of getting attention of those that were dissatisfied with the first film rather than condemnation of the first film itself?
I like the first film. I just think I'm a maggot compared to Ang Lee. I'm not going to try to copy him, it would be an enormous failure. I'm going to do my version of a Hulk film. There's a lot of me in Unleashed. If you liked this film, you'll like our Hulk.
Q: Will you also be checking out Ultimate Fighter matches to get a feel for the influence on Hulk's fighting style in the first film (assuming you aren't familiar with that already)? Or will there be no consistency in this regard? Speaking of consistency, will there be any?
I'll surround myself with the best fight choreographers. It's going to be special.
Q: Has there been any talk of doing an online video blog from behind scenes of the film as many movies are doing these days
I don't know. I'm not very photogenic.
Q: Has there been talk on where this will be filmed (U.S., Canada etc)?
Too early to say.
Q: Are you focused on casting an unknown or well known actor for Abomination? Or are you open to either?
Open to both.
Q: If there is some sense of continuity between films is there a chance will Harper return (even if it's just a cameo)? Are you expecting rewrites for Zak's first treatment?
Zak's turning in the best screenplay I ever read. I'm serious.
Thats it. Like the title of this posting says, thanks for nothing asshole. You didn't answer shit! If you're going to take the time to answer fan's questions, then answer the goddamn questions. What a waste of time. And what was the point of Superhero Hype even listing this as a story?
There's a difference btween holding some info back to maintain some secrecy about the product, but Louis doen't even have any info to give in the first place.
I'll just award him the
Stupid Motherfucker of the Week Award
And I'll leave you with that. I'll be back with you on Monday though, so hold back your tears.
Now, I may be one of the only 7 or 8 people in the world who liked the 1st Hulk film. Yeah, it had some problems, but Ang Lee tried to make a complex film with many levels. It wasn't just a one-dimensional action film. And maybe that's why it failed. Maybe it was too complex. However, Louis Leterrier, who has directed the Transporter films and Unleashed, has been attached to direct The Incredible Hulk, despite the 1st film's failures. I liked the Transporter. The 2nd one kinda sucked. And, I was completely surprised by Unleashed. It was much better than I expected and I plan to someday add it to my DVD collection.
So, let's get back to my original statement. I like it when the big shots take time to answer questions. Jesse Falcon, a bigwig with ToyBiz, answers questions on Marvel Legends toys every other day on one of the message boards. he doesn't have to, but he takes the time to answer our questions anyway. Superhero Hype got a chance to interview Louis Leterrier about The Incredible Hulk film, and instead of linking you to it, I'll just paste it here:
Q: Can you confirm the method for which the Hulk will be presented?
We're studying every method and we'll pick the best method for every shot. It's important to make the Hulk tactile in this one. As an audience member I love to be confused and not know if it's CGI, animatronic, make-up (loved Davy Jones in Pirates... all CG!!!).
Q: Can you confirm if Dominic Purcell is in talks for a role in your movie, and possibly what role that is.
Let me show you something...
ITW: Hello Louis Leterrier.
LL: Hi.
ITW: I hear you've been asked to direct Indiana Jones 4.
LL: Huh...
ITW: INDY, you're so lucky!!!
LL: Huh, well, I love these films but...
ITW:That's going to be amazing. Good luck"
... and a day later every one says that LL is directing the next Indy.
Listen to Dominic Purcell's interview again.
Q: Will you get Statham a role in this film if not Abomination perhaps someone in the military.
He's Betty...
Q: We know the budget is not over 180 million per the terms of the merril deal but do you have an estimate yet? Zak said it was quite a bit.
It's enough. Listen, I made Transporter 1 for 17M$, Unleashed for 20M$ and Transporter 2 for 22M$ (this one could have used a couple of extra bucks, sorry about some of the vfx's). I'm used to small budgets. This one's very big in Hollywood standards and huge compared to my first films. I'm going to put every penny on screen.
Q: Is Bana officially eliminated from contention or is he still a possibility?
He's not out.
Q: How far are we away from a casting announcement and a release date?
Nothing's set.
Q: Is this a sequel or not? There has been alot of confusion over this. Sometimes yes, and other times no.
It's a hard question to answer. You have to be the judge of that when you see the film.
Q: Is Lou Ferrigno really in the running to voice Hulk? (I hope not)
I've only met Lou once and I was star-struck. Who do you think should do the voice?
Q: Avi & Zak have said they liked the action in the first film (desert battle), do you also share this opinion? And plan to live upto/top it?
There's only one way out of this one and it's up...
Q: Ang sometimes used interesting wipes to go between shots, although you don't need to, will you slip a few in during editing for people like me that loved that?
Too early to say.
Q: Was the distancing from the first movie (even as a sequel) at Comic-Con more of a way of getting attention of those that were dissatisfied with the first film rather than condemnation of the first film itself?
I like the first film. I just think I'm a maggot compared to Ang Lee. I'm not going to try to copy him, it would be an enormous failure. I'm going to do my version of a Hulk film. There's a lot of me in Unleashed. If you liked this film, you'll like our Hulk.
Q: Will you also be checking out Ultimate Fighter matches to get a feel for the influence on Hulk's fighting style in the first film (assuming you aren't familiar with that already)? Or will there be no consistency in this regard? Speaking of consistency, will there be any?
I'll surround myself with the best fight choreographers. It's going to be special.
Q: Has there been any talk of doing an online video blog from behind scenes of the film as many movies are doing these days
I don't know. I'm not very photogenic.
Q: Has there been talk on where this will be filmed (U.S., Canada etc)?
Too early to say.
Q: Are you focused on casting an unknown or well known actor for Abomination? Or are you open to either?
Open to both.
Q: If there is some sense of continuity between films is there a chance will Harper return (even if it's just a cameo)? Are you expecting rewrites for Zak's first treatment?
Zak's turning in the best screenplay I ever read. I'm serious.
Thats it. Like the title of this posting says, thanks for nothing asshole. You didn't answer shit! If you're going to take the time to answer fan's questions, then answer the goddamn questions. What a waste of time. And what was the point of Superhero Hype even listing this as a story?
There's a difference btween holding some info back to maintain some secrecy about the product, but Louis doen't even have any info to give in the first place.
I'll just award him the
Stupid Motherfucker of the Week Award
And I'll leave you with that. I'll be back with you on Monday though, so hold back your tears.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Nebraska Jobs, Dana, and Bitchery
People say the economy is doing pretty good right now. People say that things are looking up after unemployment shot up a few years ago. Those people can try to find a job in Nebraska. About 3 years ago, I had a horrible time finding employment around Blair and Omaha. Even with a college education, I was searching for a job for almost 2 months before APAC threw me a bone. I only took that job because nothing else was available and I needed to pay rent. I hated APAC. I absolutely hated it. When I moved here to Denver, I found a job in 3 days, and I really didn’t look that hard.
Now, even though the economy is supposedly so much better, I know people back in Blair who are having the same problems I had. They have degrees from Dana, yet can only find shit jobs. I’m not saying it’s the Dana part of the degree that holds them back. What I’m saying is that all of these “experts” talking about the economy need to take a closer look at the rural parts of this country to see what’s really happening to a lot of people. My buddy Andy has a degree, and he has writing talent, a lot of talent. I enjoy writing, and I’m not too shabby at it, but Andy is on a whole different level. Andy is actually on a level above some of today’s popular best-selling authors, if you ask me. He looked for a month or two before taking a job at a AAA call center, much like APAC. A shit job for sure. Since then, he’s gotten a job at a Mutual of Omaha call center. So, a slightly better job with better pay. He likes it more. However, a college grad shouldn’t be sitting behind a desk taking calls when there’s so much untapped potential.
Take my ex-roommate William as another example. Sure, William isn’t the most favored person by some, and I completely understand those criticisms. However, he got his degree easily, not like some athletes who squeak by with Cs, and he’s worked in the Dana college library as an employee, not a work-study student, for at least 3 years. Also, he’s pretty good with computers. He thinks he knows more than he does, but nonetheless, he isn’t too shabby with them. He shouldn’t have trouble finding a job either, but after Dana fired a bunch of people, including William, he looked for over 2 moths for a job that meshed with his prior work experiences. He too got shafted. He just took on a job as a janitor at the Fort Calhoun nuclear plant because the job market sucks so much. A college degree, and he’s a janitor.
Andy, and his future wife Danielle, are considering moving out to Denver so that she can pursue her further education at DU. I certainly hope they do move here. Sure, not only would I have a good friend here in Denver to chum around with, but he’d have much better luck in finding a job that suits him. Same with William. Not that I’d necessarily want William in the same city as me, but he needs to either get more education, such as a Master’s Degree, or move to a place where he can use the degree he has. I love Nebraska. It’s where I was born and raised. But it’s just not a good place for jobs right now, and I’m glad I’m not living there now, wasting my life at APAC or some other god-forsaken shitbox.
This little topic leads me into another little rant I have, also dealing with jobs. Every so often, I get one of these newsletter things from Dana that list updates on Alumni such as marriages or new jobs. I can’t read these updates anymore without becoming pissed-off. I really enjoyed my field of study while at Dana. I enjoy the Communication field and I thoroughly enjoyed my many years on KDCV. I maybe wasn’t the best D.J., but I had fun and I did actually run the station for a year. Some may say I made some managerial mistakes, but I honestly feel that the station was a better place when I left it then when I came on as Ops Manager. So, I look at these updates and see alumni who were also in the communication field who land these awesome jobs. What pisses me off is that half of these people didn’t do jack shit at Dana. These people got the same degree as I did, but did half as much, or did it all, but did a shitty job. Some bitch, who shall remain nameless, got some high paying job in a television or radio station, yet while she was working for me at the radio station, she did nothing. I mean absolutely fucking nothing. She was given a number of small tasks and in the entire year, zero of tasks got done. She was paid like $85 a month to basically just hold the title. I see these athletes who graduated with me get good jobs, yet while at Dana, they barely survived the easiest courses offered. I’m not saying that my job now is bad, but I’ve worked my ass off, and am going for my Master’s Degree, to get this job and work towards something better. These Dana shitheads I refer to get these good jobs with no sacrifice whatsoever.
And as far as Dana goes, I have one more thing to complain about. Fuck You Vern. That’s right Vern, Fuck Off. As I said, I was KDCV manager for a year. During that year, I, and my staff who actually did something, proposed a bunch of things to better the station. Pretty much every idea was shot down by McComb because she said it wasn’t possible. One of those items was streaming KDCV over the internet. William, as Ops Manager, proposed that to Vern the next year and was also shot down. Now I’m not saying that KDCV was ready for internet streaming at that time. KDCV had it’s problems, and it was probably best that we didn’t stream at that time. However, in one of those lovely Dana newsletters I got 1 year after I graduated, I saw a story on KDCV. This story was pretty much a big ass-kissing festival glorifying Vern and the Ops Manager at the time. Now I can’t remember the guy’s name, but when I was at Dana, he showed absolutely NO interest in KDCV. He showed up at one meeting at the beginning of a year, then failed to do anything else from then on. Now all of a sudden, KDCV not only interests him, but acts as his personal crusade of excellence.
Vern said in the story that internet streaming was now in effect due to his, and the current Ops Manager, work based of THEIR idea to stream. Vern said that thanks to this new Ops Manager and his progressive thinking and outlook, that streaming was made possible. Well piss off and die you dirty bastard. I’m not saying that William and I did all the work, but we worked towards this goal for 2 years, and made KDCV to what is was when this new Ops manager comes in. We worked towards it and were shot down every goddamn time. The minute I graduate, Vern and the fuck-mook take credit for everything. Sure, Vern knows what he’s doing, but he also knows how to shaft a person as well. All he had to say was “Thanks to our current Ops Manger Jimmy Fuckass, and the efforts made over the last few years by other students, streaming audio is now possible.” That would have been just fine. Yeah, Dana can’t give me credit in the least, but they can still throw my picture up on Dana’s Campus Life webpage to advertise KDCV. Yeah, that’s right bitches, that’s me sitting there at the mic. That’s when I came in for 2 ½ hours on my off time for that little photo shoot. Where the fuck were you Vern? Probably had your hand up some poor dummy’s ass.
And the station name. That part of this little story pissed me off to. When I was introduced to the station, it had the name "The Jam." Personally, I've always thought that was a stupid ass name. Everytime I hear that name, I picture Bananarama dancing around the stage in neon tights. When I became Ops Manger, I asked all the staff and deejays at a meeting if they wanted a different name. All but 2 people said yes. I then asked for suggestions. Of all the suggestions, Nowhere Radio was the most liked by everyone there. Now, I can understand where Alumni or faculty wouldn't care for that name. However, it was voted upon and it pushed the outdated "Jam" out of the way. In this story, Vern goes on the say that the station is now back to "The Jam" after a short time as "Nowhere Radio." He then went on to make a snide comment about the name "Nowhere Radio." Fuck you again Vern. You weren't working there when it was changed. You never asked me why it was changed. You didn't bring it to my attention that this name bothered you. However, the minute that the people who voted on it leave Dana, you and the admin change it, and then insult it? At least we tried to be a bit progressive in how we dealt with the station. Change can be a bad thing, but it can be a good thing too if given the chance. But fine Vern, be that way. One thing is for sure, and that's if Dana ever asks me for money, they're not getting it, simply because this little article pissed me off. It was bad journalism, and the only point of it was to make the current faculty/staff seem like Gods.
I'm not saying that I was the best thing that ever happened to KDCV. I'm just saying that the guy the comes in as Ops Manager after William and I didn't give a flying fuck about KDCV before he took it over, and all of a sudden he's the best thing that's ever happened to it. KDCV has been made better by every staff member, deejay, and listener who's taken the time to try to make KDCV better. According to Vern, if it wasn't for him and this shitheel ops manager, the KDCV station wouldn't even have electricity.
Now I feel a lot better. Now get offa’ my porch ‘fore I get the shotgun!
Now, even though the economy is supposedly so much better, I know people back in Blair who are having the same problems I had. They have degrees from Dana, yet can only find shit jobs. I’m not saying it’s the Dana part of the degree that holds them back. What I’m saying is that all of these “experts” talking about the economy need to take a closer look at the rural parts of this country to see what’s really happening to a lot of people. My buddy Andy has a degree, and he has writing talent, a lot of talent. I enjoy writing, and I’m not too shabby at it, but Andy is on a whole different level. Andy is actually on a level above some of today’s popular best-selling authors, if you ask me. He looked for a month or two before taking a job at a AAA call center, much like APAC. A shit job for sure. Since then, he’s gotten a job at a Mutual of Omaha call center. So, a slightly better job with better pay. He likes it more. However, a college grad shouldn’t be sitting behind a desk taking calls when there’s so much untapped potential.
Take my ex-roommate William as another example. Sure, William isn’t the most favored person by some, and I completely understand those criticisms. However, he got his degree easily, not like some athletes who squeak by with Cs, and he’s worked in the Dana college library as an employee, not a work-study student, for at least 3 years. Also, he’s pretty good with computers. He thinks he knows more than he does, but nonetheless, he isn’t too shabby with them. He shouldn’t have trouble finding a job either, but after Dana fired a bunch of people, including William, he looked for over 2 moths for a job that meshed with his prior work experiences. He too got shafted. He just took on a job as a janitor at the Fort Calhoun nuclear plant because the job market sucks so much. A college degree, and he’s a janitor.
Andy, and his future wife Danielle, are considering moving out to Denver so that she can pursue her further education at DU. I certainly hope they do move here. Sure, not only would I have a good friend here in Denver to chum around with, but he’d have much better luck in finding a job that suits him. Same with William. Not that I’d necessarily want William in the same city as me, but he needs to either get more education, such as a Master’s Degree, or move to a place where he can use the degree he has. I love Nebraska. It’s where I was born and raised. But it’s just not a good place for jobs right now, and I’m glad I’m not living there now, wasting my life at APAC or some other god-forsaken shitbox.
This little topic leads me into another little rant I have, also dealing with jobs. Every so often, I get one of these newsletter things from Dana that list updates on Alumni such as marriages or new jobs. I can’t read these updates anymore without becoming pissed-off. I really enjoyed my field of study while at Dana. I enjoy the Communication field and I thoroughly enjoyed my many years on KDCV. I maybe wasn’t the best D.J., but I had fun and I did actually run the station for a year. Some may say I made some managerial mistakes, but I honestly feel that the station was a better place when I left it then when I came on as Ops Manager. So, I look at these updates and see alumni who were also in the communication field who land these awesome jobs. What pisses me off is that half of these people didn’t do jack shit at Dana. These people got the same degree as I did, but did half as much, or did it all, but did a shitty job. Some bitch, who shall remain nameless, got some high paying job in a television or radio station, yet while she was working for me at the radio station, she did nothing. I mean absolutely fucking nothing. She was given a number of small tasks and in the entire year, zero of tasks got done. She was paid like $85 a month to basically just hold the title. I see these athletes who graduated with me get good jobs, yet while at Dana, they barely survived the easiest courses offered. I’m not saying that my job now is bad, but I’ve worked my ass off, and am going for my Master’s Degree, to get this job and work towards something better. These Dana shitheads I refer to get these good jobs with no sacrifice whatsoever.
And as far as Dana goes, I have one more thing to complain about. Fuck You Vern. That’s right Vern, Fuck Off. As I said, I was KDCV manager for a year. During that year, I, and my staff who actually did something, proposed a bunch of things to better the station. Pretty much every idea was shot down by McComb because she said it wasn’t possible. One of those items was streaming KDCV over the internet. William, as Ops Manager, proposed that to Vern the next year and was also shot down. Now I’m not saying that KDCV was ready for internet streaming at that time. KDCV had it’s problems, and it was probably best that we didn’t stream at that time. However, in one of those lovely Dana newsletters I got 1 year after I graduated, I saw a story on KDCV. This story was pretty much a big ass-kissing festival glorifying Vern and the Ops Manager at the time. Now I can’t remember the guy’s name, but when I was at Dana, he showed absolutely NO interest in KDCV. He showed up at one meeting at the beginning of a year, then failed to do anything else from then on. Now all of a sudden, KDCV not only interests him, but acts as his personal crusade of excellence.
Vern said in the story that internet streaming was now in effect due to his, and the current Ops Manager, work based of THEIR idea to stream. Vern said that thanks to this new Ops Manager and his progressive thinking and outlook, that streaming was made possible. Well piss off and die you dirty bastard. I’m not saying that William and I did all the work, but we worked towards this goal for 2 years, and made KDCV to what is was when this new Ops manager comes in. We worked towards it and were shot down every goddamn time. The minute I graduate, Vern and the fuck-mook take credit for everything. Sure, Vern knows what he’s doing, but he also knows how to shaft a person as well. All he had to say was “Thanks to our current Ops Manger Jimmy Fuckass, and the efforts made over the last few years by other students, streaming audio is now possible.” That would have been just fine. Yeah, Dana can’t give me credit in the least, but they can still throw my picture up on Dana’s Campus Life webpage to advertise KDCV. Yeah, that’s right bitches, that’s me sitting there at the mic. That’s when I came in for 2 ½ hours on my off time for that little photo shoot. Where the fuck were you Vern? Probably had your hand up some poor dummy’s ass.
And the station name. That part of this little story pissed me off to. When I was introduced to the station, it had the name "The Jam." Personally, I've always thought that was a stupid ass name. Everytime I hear that name, I picture Bananarama dancing around the stage in neon tights. When I became Ops Manger, I asked all the staff and deejays at a meeting if they wanted a different name. All but 2 people said yes. I then asked for suggestions. Of all the suggestions, Nowhere Radio was the most liked by everyone there. Now, I can understand where Alumni or faculty wouldn't care for that name. However, it was voted upon and it pushed the outdated "Jam" out of the way. In this story, Vern goes on the say that the station is now back to "The Jam" after a short time as "Nowhere Radio." He then went on to make a snide comment about the name "Nowhere Radio." Fuck you again Vern. You weren't working there when it was changed. You never asked me why it was changed. You didn't bring it to my attention that this name bothered you. However, the minute that the people who voted on it leave Dana, you and the admin change it, and then insult it? At least we tried to be a bit progressive in how we dealt with the station. Change can be a bad thing, but it can be a good thing too if given the chance. But fine Vern, be that way. One thing is for sure, and that's if Dana ever asks me for money, they're not getting it, simply because this little article pissed me off. It was bad journalism, and the only point of it was to make the current faculty/staff seem like Gods.
I'm not saying that I was the best thing that ever happened to KDCV. I'm just saying that the guy the comes in as Ops Manager after William and I didn't give a flying fuck about KDCV before he took it over, and all of a sudden he's the best thing that's ever happened to it. KDCV has been made better by every staff member, deejay, and listener who's taken the time to try to make KDCV better. According to Vern, if it wasn't for him and this shitheel ops manager, the KDCV station wouldn't even have electricity.
Now I feel a lot better. Now get offa’ my porch ‘fore I get the shotgun!
Monday, September 11, 2006
I seem to be missing something...
Today is September 11th. For some reason, that day seems to mean something, but for the life of me, I can't remember what.
Maybe it will come to me a little later.
So normally I'd talk about something right now, but i'm bored and tired and I really don't have anything to say. So I'll just move to the DVD releases for tomorrow:
That's it. Get outta here 'fore I beat your punk-ass!
Maybe it will come to me a little later.
So normally I'd talk about something right now, but i'm bored and tired and I really don't have anything to say. So I'll just move to the DVD releases for tomorrow:
- Beavis and Butt-head Do America - The Special Edition release of this movie is upon us. It's not as good as the television show, but it's still good for a laugh or two.
- Cameron Diaz Collection: I think this woman acts about as well as a board with a rusty nail through it acts as Hamlet.
- Diagnosos Murder: The Complete 1st Season - Dick VanDyke is the man. I wish he were my doctor. Even so, I'm not buying this set.
- Lucky Number Slevin - I really have no idea if this film is good or bad. See it for me and tell me what you think.
- Smallville: The Complete Fifth Season - Had I watched seasons 1 through 4, I might care about this season.
- Star Wars IV,V,VI - Yeah, the regular releases. The ones that nerdish fanboys have been clamoring for since the dawn of time. I told Samantha not to buy the releases last year. Did she listen to me? No!!!!
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Season 4 - The 4th season of the new show, not the old one. After the 4th season, this show turns into the craptacular TMNT Fast Forward that just begun.
That's it. Get outta here 'fore I beat your punk-ass!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Oh please God, say it isn't so
I've said before how much I hate pointless movie sequels. MGM has just released a list of five sequels they're planning. Let me run down this list for you real quick:
Legally Blonde 3 - Like the first two didn't suck enough ballsack. Now we'll all have to put up with more of this shit.
Cutting Edge 3 - The 2nd one was direct-to-video for crying out loud. This one will hopefully be direct-to-dumpster.
Into the Blue 2 - Yeah, Jessica Alba is one hot bee-yotch, but Into the Blue was a pretty dumb flick. It doesn't warrant a sequel, and chances are this one will have a totally different cast anyways, so who cares?
Species 4 - The 3rd one never made it to the theatres, primarily because it was a POS. I think the 3rd one was actually produced by the Sci-Fi Channel, and we all know how good their films are. I mean, look at Boa vs. Python or S.S. Doomtrooper for examples of how not to make a movie.
And the 5th film MGM is planning is actually one I don't mind being made. Although I can't really see why they decided to make this over 20 years after the 1st film:
WarGames 2 - This movie will center around what happens when the powers that be try to dismantle the computer. I at least hope they bring back Matthew Broderick. Sure, his character won't be the kid who almost kills the world anymore, but I hope they somehow work him in. Maybe the computer won't be satisfies until it plays one last game with him.
Alright, I'm done. I just had to get that, and Bob's mom, off my chest. She's one large woman.
Legally Blonde 3 - Like the first two didn't suck enough ballsack. Now we'll all have to put up with more of this shit.
Cutting Edge 3 - The 2nd one was direct-to-video for crying out loud. This one will hopefully be direct-to-dumpster.
Into the Blue 2 - Yeah, Jessica Alba is one hot bee-yotch, but Into the Blue was a pretty dumb flick. It doesn't warrant a sequel, and chances are this one will have a totally different cast anyways, so who cares?
Species 4 - The 3rd one never made it to the theatres, primarily because it was a POS. I think the 3rd one was actually produced by the Sci-Fi Channel, and we all know how good their films are. I mean, look at Boa vs. Python or S.S. Doomtrooper for examples of how not to make a movie.
And the 5th film MGM is planning is actually one I don't mind being made. Although I can't really see why they decided to make this over 20 years after the 1st film:
WarGames 2 - This movie will center around what happens when the powers that be try to dismantle the computer. I at least hope they bring back Matthew Broderick. Sure, his character won't be the kid who almost kills the world anymore, but I hope they somehow work him in. Maybe the computer won't be satisfies until it plays one last game with him.
Alright, I'm done. I just had to get that, and Bob's mom, off my chest. She's one large woman.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Labor Day goodness
Not "Labour" like those British wankers like to spell it.
Today is good because I don't have to work. Yesterday was good for several reasons. First of all, I found a bunch of new toys I've been looking for, including Marvel Legends series 14. I think I'm probably one of the first people in Denver to own those bad boys. Secondly, I found one more place, the second so far, in Denver that sells delicious Jolt Cola.
Today isn't quite as good as yesterday, partially because Samantha is watching a Dark Angel marathon on sci-fi channel. Sure, Jessica Alba is hot, but that show was a piece of shit. So naturally, Samantha likes it, meaning I've got to sit here and listen to it for hours on end.
Also, I have to listen to Samantha bitch about Shampoo. That's right, shampoo. They discontinued her favorite shampoo and conditioner and replaced it with another formula or scent that she hates. I can kinda see where she's coming from. I mean, they placed these little stickers on the old stuff that said "New packaging coming soon", or something like that. It mentioned nothing about the shampoos themselves being any different. Also, at her job, she works with lab mice, and changes in scents can stress the mice out and they'll eat their yong and all if they're stressed out. So, her change in shampoo could actually affect her job. Interesting isn't it? Of course, being the loving boyfriend I am, I've been looking everywhere for the shit. One place out of 20 had a few bottles of conditioner left.
Well, I'll review the DVDs being released tomorrrow before I head out to look for more toys, and more shampoo.
No really, that's it. Get the fuck off my blog now.
Today is good because I don't have to work. Yesterday was good for several reasons. First of all, I found a bunch of new toys I've been looking for, including Marvel Legends series 14. I think I'm probably one of the first people in Denver to own those bad boys. Secondly, I found one more place, the second so far, in Denver that sells delicious Jolt Cola.
Today isn't quite as good as yesterday, partially because Samantha is watching a Dark Angel marathon on sci-fi channel. Sure, Jessica Alba is hot, but that show was a piece of shit. So naturally, Samantha likes it, meaning I've got to sit here and listen to it for hours on end.
Also, I have to listen to Samantha bitch about Shampoo. That's right, shampoo. They discontinued her favorite shampoo and conditioner and replaced it with another formula or scent that she hates. I can kinda see where she's coming from. I mean, they placed these little stickers on the old stuff that said "New packaging coming soon", or something like that. It mentioned nothing about the shampoos themselves being any different. Also, at her job, she works with lab mice, and changes in scents can stress the mice out and they'll eat their yong and all if they're stressed out. So, her change in shampoo could actually affect her job. Interesting isn't it? Of course, being the loving boyfriend I am, I've been looking everywhere for the shit. One place out of 20 had a few bottles of conditioner left.
Well, I'll review the DVDs being released tomorrrow before I head out to look for more toys, and more shampoo.
- ALF: Season Four - Nah. I'll pass.
- Brazil (Criterion Collection) - An odd movie, but I like it nonetheless.
- The Complete Toxic Avenger - I never really saw the mass appeal that ol' Toxie has had over the years. Yeah, I saw all of the films and they were ok, but is anything produced by Troma really any good?
- Jackass: The Movie: Special Edition: Unrated - I have to say that when this film came out, I had no plans to see it. However, after actually watching it on DVD, I'll admit I laughed my ass off at times.
- Lost: The Complete Second Season - If you haven't seen this show yet and want to see it, rent the 1st and secomd seasons before even attempting to start watching the new season on ABC. Even after watching them in order, you still won't know what the fuck is going on, but it's a fun ride.
- Supernatural: The Complete First Season - I've heard that a number of people like this show. I don't because I've never seen it. I don't really plan to unless I have a lot of free time to waste.
- United 93 - Maybe this movie is good, maybe not. I just don't care to see it. I know what happened on September 11th. I know it was a horrible day. But really, I just don't give a rat's ass if I ever see this movie.
No really, that's it. Get the fuck off my blog now.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Now that's just Chinese.
There's this woman who comes into our library every couple of days to check her e-mail and so forth. She also has this annoying habit of talking on her cell phone. Not only is it common sense not to talk on a cell phone in a library, but there are signs telling her it isn't allowed. So, you'd think that when a co-worker of mine asked her to take the conversation outside, she would. Instead, she just lowered her voice for a minute or two to end the conversation.
This woman's other problem is that she's computer illiterate AND she's great at stereotyping. She called me over to help her view a picture attachment from her e-mail. She was on a Mac. Now, I'm pretty damn good with computers, but I'm better with PCs than Macs. I tried the obvious applications like iPhoto and so forth, but I couldn't get the photo open. She then gave me this wonderful advice: "It's an Oriental thing. You should ask one of the Asian people when they come in. They'll know you how to do it."
Great advice. I never though about asking an Asian person, since every person of Asian descent knows everything about computers. How stupid of me not to see that before. When I ask the next Asian person who comes in how to do it, based strictly on their race, I'll also ask him or her the correct procedure to produce rice paper and how to make a bitchin' kung pao sauce for chicken.
I'll ask the next Native American who comes in to do a rain dance. I've always wanted to see an authentic rain dance.
Or maybe the entire problem with the photo situation was the computer itself, and not the technical superiority of an Asian over my stupid American brain. That Mac is at least 3 years old. Up until last week, we had 2 of those Macs, but the motherboard on one of them crapped out completely. That tells you how old they are, since Macs are built pretty damn good.
Next time I see that woman in my library, I'll pay the closest black guy I see to pop a cap in her ass, since all black people are gang members and thieves. Everyone knows that.
This woman's other problem is that she's computer illiterate AND she's great at stereotyping. She called me over to help her view a picture attachment from her e-mail. She was on a Mac. Now, I'm pretty damn good with computers, but I'm better with PCs than Macs. I tried the obvious applications like iPhoto and so forth, but I couldn't get the photo open. She then gave me this wonderful advice: "It's an Oriental thing. You should ask one of the Asian people when they come in. They'll know you how to do it."
Great advice. I never though about asking an Asian person, since every person of Asian descent knows everything about computers. How stupid of me not to see that before. When I ask the next Asian person who comes in how to do it, based strictly on their race, I'll also ask him or her the correct procedure to produce rice paper and how to make a bitchin' kung pao sauce for chicken.
I'll ask the next Native American who comes in to do a rain dance. I've always wanted to see an authentic rain dance.
Or maybe the entire problem with the photo situation was the computer itself, and not the technical superiority of an Asian over my stupid American brain. That Mac is at least 3 years old. Up until last week, we had 2 of those Macs, but the motherboard on one of them crapped out completely. That tells you how old they are, since Macs are built pretty damn good.
Next time I see that woman in my library, I'll pay the closest black guy I see to pop a cap in her ass, since all black people are gang members and thieves. Everyone knows that.
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