I also like Serenity, the movie that is. What did you say? That movie doesn't come out for another month? Lucky I live in a big city and was able to score tickets to a early preview. But, I almost didn't make it. The film started at 7, and we got to the theater at 5:30, and the line was already huge. By 6:45 the line was 3 times as large as it was at 5:30. They started letting people in. With 3 people in front of us, they said the theater was full, but we could wait because if the press didn't show up, that was an extra 10 seats available. Well, we made it in with around 10 other folks. The other 100+ people in line behind us were screwed. BWAH HAHAHAHA!!! I ended up sitting in the very first seat in the very first row, so I spent the movie looking up and to the right. My neck hurt like a bastard when the show was over, but oh was it ever worth it. If you liked the show Firefly, you'll love the movie. If you've never seen Firefly, you'll still probably like the movie. A damn fine film by the hack that brought us Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Oh yeah, they showed one trailer before the movie. Doom was it's name and mindless violence was its game. The movie looks like a stupid and pointless excuse for gunfire and gore, but then again, so were the games it's based on. There looks to be some intense scenes actually filmed in first-person view....including a chainsaw scence. Yes, like I said, the movie may be crap, but it's crap that I'm definately looking forward to.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Update of Doom
If it isn't one thing, it's another. That's what they say right? They also say that honesty is the best policy, so what the hell do they know? Just when I think I don't have to spend any more money on toys, a new wave or line of figures comes out that I must have. Take this last week for instance. I thought I was going to be able to save money until I hit a Hot Topic and found the exclusive Invader Zim wave 2 figs and wave 3 of Street Figher toys. Now, I bought all of the Zim figs but only 2 of the Street Fighter toys. There went $115 down the crapper. Alrighty, money spent, and no more toys to buy. WRONG! The god of toys (whose name is Eduardo) hath decreed that Hasbro shall offer Wave 2 of the direct-to-consumer G.I. Joe products on their website. Flush. That was the sound of $230 going down the crapper. Although technically, I won't pay that untill the items are shipped in a month, but still. I don't think I'll have to buy any more toys at least for another 3 days until wave 11 of Marvel Legends start hitting the stores. Then, I'll be shelling out around $50.
I will be attending a toy show in October however, where I plan to sell a few of the toys I have laying around that I have no use for. Maybe I'll make enough money to buy Marvel Legends wave 12 when they hit the shelves. It's a neverending cycle, much like the circle of life, but without talking lions and shaman monkeys.
A few posts ago, I discussed some upcoming movies. Well, I bet you haven't heard of this upcoming movie, which will no doubt be a blockbuster which will shatter all records...or maybe not. I'll post the title and if you can get past that, I'll post the plot summary:
Snakes on a Plane
Yes, that is the title. I wonder what it's about. Are you ready to know what it's about?!
Plot Summary: Samuel L. Jackson stars in the intense action feature "Snakes on a Plane" from director David Ellis ("Final Destination 2," "Cellular"). Jackson plays an FBI agent who is escorting a witness on a flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles when an assassin releases hundreds of deadly snakes on a commercial airplane in order to eliminate the witness. The FBI agent, along with a rookie pilot, frightened crew and passengers must then band together in a desperate attempt to survive.
As silence fills the room and you all look around dumbfounded, I simply say: WHAT THE FUCK? Snakes on a Plane? Snakes on a plane? I don't know what's stupider, the title, or the plot. So they can't just land the plane and remove themselves from the situation? Maybe the pilot has been killed by a snake and they can't land, in which case, the passengers have other things to worry about. Like, when the plane runs out of fuel and plummets to the ground, in which case, they'll all die anyway, including the snakes. Unless they are fireproof snakes. Why can't the passengers just crush the snakes under their bootheels? Perhaps the plane is full of shoeless passengers; a negative side effect of the strict airline screening procedures after the shoe-bomb incident. Snakes on a Plane? More like Crap in a Hat.
A movie I am looking forward to: Transporter 2. Although, I think they could have added a subtitle to give it a little more UMPH. Roll this around in your head: Transporter 2: Transport This, Bitch!
Yeah, I knew you'd like that.
I will be attending a toy show in October however, where I plan to sell a few of the toys I have laying around that I have no use for. Maybe I'll make enough money to buy Marvel Legends wave 12 when they hit the shelves. It's a neverending cycle, much like the circle of life, but without talking lions and shaman monkeys.
A few posts ago, I discussed some upcoming movies. Well, I bet you haven't heard of this upcoming movie, which will no doubt be a blockbuster which will shatter all records...or maybe not. I'll post the title and if you can get past that, I'll post the plot summary:
Snakes on a Plane
Yes, that is the title. I wonder what it's about. Are you ready to know what it's about?!
Plot Summary: Samuel L. Jackson stars in the intense action feature "Snakes on a Plane" from director David Ellis ("Final Destination 2," "Cellular"). Jackson plays an FBI agent who is escorting a witness on a flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles when an assassin releases hundreds of deadly snakes on a commercial airplane in order to eliminate the witness. The FBI agent, along with a rookie pilot, frightened crew and passengers must then band together in a desperate attempt to survive.
As silence fills the room and you all look around dumbfounded, I simply say: WHAT THE FUCK? Snakes on a Plane? Snakes on a plane? I don't know what's stupider, the title, or the plot. So they can't just land the plane and remove themselves from the situation? Maybe the pilot has been killed by a snake and they can't land, in which case, the passengers have other things to worry about. Like, when the plane runs out of fuel and plummets to the ground, in which case, they'll all die anyway, including the snakes. Unless they are fireproof snakes. Why can't the passengers just crush the snakes under their bootheels? Perhaps the plane is full of shoeless passengers; a negative side effect of the strict airline screening procedures after the shoe-bomb incident. Snakes on a Plane? More like Crap in a Hat.
A movie I am looking forward to: Transporter 2. Although, I think they could have added a subtitle to give it a little more UMPH. Roll this around in your head: Transporter 2: Transport This, Bitch!
Yeah, I knew you'd like that.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Astronomy Anyone?
Everyone I know says I'm an asshole, even my friends....especially my friends. Because of this, I try very hard to be tolerant of other people and their shortcomings. Yet, there are times when I must, for the good of mankind, slap the crap out of someone with a few stragetically placed insults. The downside is, most of these times occur when I'm at work, where if I insult a co-worker or library patron, I will most certainly be fired. Take today for example, Ten minutes ago to be exact. A co-worker, who I shall name Stupey McDumbshit, handed me a printout of an e-mail she received. Stupey explained to me that she got this from a friend of hers whom she trusts and the e-mail has to be true. The e-mail instructs people to go out and gaze at the night sky at a specific time in the near future, for scientists and astronomers have announced a monumental celestial occurrance. The e-mail goes on to explain that, on this certain night, Mars (the planet, not the candy bar) will be closer to Earth than ever before, and that it will be as large as our moon in the night sky. That's right, you heard me, as large as the moon.
Everybody, grab your cameras! This truly is a monumental event! It isn't everyday that Mars breaks loose of its orbit and slides billions of miles closer to Earth! It isn't everyday that the laws of physics are temporalily broken as to provide the peoples of Earth with such a stunning view! When this event does occur, you'll be damn glad I told you to have your cameras ready, for you'll not only capture the view of Mars on camera, but you'll also be able to record the 600 foot high tidal waves which will oblitarate half of the worlds population. If you survive that, you can digitally capture the gravitational forces ripping the Earth open. Just imagine what people will say as they view your stunning video of oceans of magma rolling over entire acres of populated land. I'm giddy with anticipation over this amazing event. I've always wanted to see another planet and now the human race can view Mars in all of its glory before perishing in unimaginibly horrible ways. I wouldn't believe this would be possible, but the E-mail is from a "trusted" source, so it must be true.
And people say I'm an asshole for pointing out stupidity.
Everybody, grab your cameras! This truly is a monumental event! It isn't everyday that Mars breaks loose of its orbit and slides billions of miles closer to Earth! It isn't everyday that the laws of physics are temporalily broken as to provide the peoples of Earth with such a stunning view! When this event does occur, you'll be damn glad I told you to have your cameras ready, for you'll not only capture the view of Mars on camera, but you'll also be able to record the 600 foot high tidal waves which will oblitarate half of the worlds population. If you survive that, you can digitally capture the gravitational forces ripping the Earth open. Just imagine what people will say as they view your stunning video of oceans of magma rolling over entire acres of populated land. I'm giddy with anticipation over this amazing event. I've always wanted to see another planet and now the human race can view Mars in all of its glory before perishing in unimaginibly horrible ways. I wouldn't believe this would be possible, but the E-mail is from a "trusted" source, so it must be true.
And people say I'm an asshole for pointing out stupidity.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Movies and Movie News.
O.K.....Take a look at this and tell me this isn't odd: http://www.comingsoon.net/news.php?id=10630 A Fiat Panda?? What the fuck?! Being a Bond fan, I was quite dissapointed at the last 2 films and was quite sure they couldn't get any worse. They may have acheived just that. Yeah, I can see James Bond now, pulling up the the Casino Royale in Monte Carlo and tossing the keys to a Fiat Panda to the valet. Now that's real fucking sophistication right there. There's nothing like showing the Casino that you're a high roller by pulling up in an economy class Fiat. Screw the Ferraris and the Bentleys. Screw the Aston Martins and the BMWs. M5 must be going through budget cuts and can't afford to give Bond a gas guzzling vehicle. They better give this Fiat missle launchers or particle weapons or something equally as cool, otherwise there'll be hell to pay. Oh yes, hell to pay.
Apparently Sin City 2 is a go. Love Sin City or hate it, Sin City 2 just isn't necessary. Sure, the fans of the graphic novels want to see another movie, but that doesn't mean there's a reason for the movie to be made. People want to see another Sin City movie because they liked how "dark and gritty" the first movie was. Preacher is a good example of a "darker" graphic novel that should be made before SinCity 2 is made. There were rumors a year or two ago about a Preacher movie but I guess those plans were pushed aside. If the movie studios are reading this now, I've got a friend who could play the part of Arseface perfectly. Contact my people and we'll set up a time to discuss casting. We'll do lunch.
X-Men 3 has begun filming. Fuck Yeah! That's all I have to say on that.
Firefly fans rejoice, for Serenty is almost here. For those of you who haven't watched the failed Fox series Firefly, pick it up and enjoy. It is undeniably Joss Whedon's best television work. Since he did Buffy and Angel, it is probably his only good television project. You may ask, if the show failed, why is there a movie on the way? The answer is simple: Fox is a whore. Fox cancelled both Family Guy and Firefly, but once DVD sales proved they were popular, Fox decided to pick them both up in one form or another. Next time Fox, don't cancel the popular shows in the first place.
The Cave. Have you seen the trailer for this movie yet? The main star is Cole Hauser, who if you remember, played Johns in the movie Pitch Black. The Cave is about a small group of people who become trapped in a dark cave with a creature or creatures who start killing and/or eating the aforementioned small group of people. Because it is dark is this said cave, the small group relies on precious light to navigate and survive. Does this movie perhaps sound like a similar plot to a movie Cole Hauser has already been in? Perhaps one I just mentioned? Hey Cole, you're never going to be taken as a serious actor if you keep doing the same damn thing. Hey Hollywood screenwriters, at least make an attempt to fool us stupid moviegoers into thinking you actually have new ideas once in a while.
Stealth. How did they manage to get Jamie Foxx in this wretched piece of crap? It's not like he needs to do this movie to further his career, with an Academy Award and all.
And finally, Walk the Line, a movie about the life and times of Johnny Cash. Hopefully the success of Ray doesn't open up Hollywood to making a films based on every performer's life, but being a Johhny Cash fan, I'm looking forward to this film. But like I said, I hope it stops here. Movies on Ray and Cash, fine. Movies on Falco and MC Hammer, not fine.
Apparently Sin City 2 is a go. Love Sin City or hate it, Sin City 2 just isn't necessary. Sure, the fans of the graphic novels want to see another movie, but that doesn't mean there's a reason for the movie to be made. People want to see another Sin City movie because they liked how "dark and gritty" the first movie was. Preacher is a good example of a "darker" graphic novel that should be made before SinCity 2 is made. There were rumors a year or two ago about a Preacher movie but I guess those plans were pushed aside. If the movie studios are reading this now, I've got a friend who could play the part of Arseface perfectly. Contact my people and we'll set up a time to discuss casting. We'll do lunch.
X-Men 3 has begun filming. Fuck Yeah! That's all I have to say on that.
Firefly fans rejoice, for Serenty is almost here. For those of you who haven't watched the failed Fox series Firefly, pick it up and enjoy. It is undeniably Joss Whedon's best television work. Since he did Buffy and Angel, it is probably his only good television project. You may ask, if the show failed, why is there a movie on the way? The answer is simple: Fox is a whore. Fox cancelled both Family Guy and Firefly, but once DVD sales proved they were popular, Fox decided to pick them both up in one form or another. Next time Fox, don't cancel the popular shows in the first place.
The Cave. Have you seen the trailer for this movie yet? The main star is Cole Hauser, who if you remember, played Johns in the movie Pitch Black. The Cave is about a small group of people who become trapped in a dark cave with a creature or creatures who start killing and/or eating the aforementioned small group of people. Because it is dark is this said cave, the small group relies on precious light to navigate and survive. Does this movie perhaps sound like a similar plot to a movie Cole Hauser has already been in? Perhaps one I just mentioned? Hey Cole, you're never going to be taken as a serious actor if you keep doing the same damn thing. Hey Hollywood screenwriters, at least make an attempt to fool us stupid moviegoers into thinking you actually have new ideas once in a while.
Stealth. How did they manage to get Jamie Foxx in this wretched piece of crap? It's not like he needs to do this movie to further his career, with an Academy Award and all.
And finally, Walk the Line, a movie about the life and times of Johnny Cash. Hopefully the success of Ray doesn't open up Hollywood to making a films based on every performer's life, but being a Johhny Cash fan, I'm looking forward to this film. But like I said, I hope it stops here. Movies on Ray and Cash, fine. Movies on Falco and MC Hammer, not fine.
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