Astronomy Anyone?

Everyone I know says I'm an asshole, even my friends....especially my friends. Because of this, I try very hard to be tolerant of other people and their shortcomings. Yet, there are times when I must, for the good of mankind, slap the crap out of someone with a few stragetically placed insults. The downside is, most of these times occur when I'm at work, where if I insult a co-worker or library patron, I will most certainly be fired. Take today for example, Ten minutes ago to be exact. A co-worker, who I shall name Stupey McDumbshit, handed me a printout of an e-mail she received. Stupey explained to me that she got this from a friend of hers whom she trusts and the e-mail has to be true. The e-mail instructs people to go out and gaze at the night sky at a specific time in the near future, for scientists and astronomers have announced a monumental celestial occurrance. The e-mail goes on to explain that, on this certain night, Mars (the planet, not the candy bar) will be closer to Earth than ever before, and that it will be as large as our moon in the night sky. That's right, you heard me, as large as the moon.

Everybody, grab your cameras! This truly is a monumental event! It isn't everyday that Mars breaks loose of its orbit and slides billions of miles closer to Earth! It isn't everyday that the laws of physics are temporalily broken as to provide the peoples of Earth with such a stunning view! When this event does occur, you'll be damn glad I told you to have your cameras ready, for you'll not only capture the view of Mars on camera, but you'll also be able to record the 600 foot high tidal waves which will oblitarate half of the worlds population. If you survive that, you can digitally capture the gravitational forces ripping the Earth open. Just imagine what people will say as they view your stunning video of oceans of magma rolling over entire acres of populated land. I'm giddy with anticipation over this amazing event. I've always wanted to see another planet and now the human race can view Mars in all of its glory before perishing in unimaginibly horrible ways. I wouldn't believe this would be possible, but the E-mail is from a "trusted" source, so it must be true.

And people say I'm an asshole for pointing out stupidity.