Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...

These bastards that come into this library broke the electric stapler.....again. These are doctors and such, and they can't use an electric stapler. On top of that, people take the regular stapler off the little table where we keep it for patrons to use and it goes missing for days on end. Of course, other people then decide since they need a stapler, they take mine off my desk.

I'm in charge of ordering such things as staplers. I used to order the good Swingline metal staplers for the entire library to use, because they're quite durable. Fuck that. From now on, the public staplers will be the cheapest ones I can find. And to make sure I can identify MY stapler in the library, I just bought one of those bright red 747 Swingline staplers, just like Milton cherished in the film Office Space. Milton was right, this stapler kicks ass. No one else that I know has one of these beauties. It will remain concealed under my desk on top of the computer. Just in case this one goes missing, I also ordered a backup. But the backup isn't red, it's chromed. That's right, a chrome Swingline 747 stapler baby.

So, Samantha and I got into a pretty big fight last night. After these big fights, you look back and say, "Well that was a stupid thing to fight over, I should have just shut my mouth." Not this time. I was pissed and had a right to be. You see, Samantha and I bought a buch of furniture last December when we got this apartment. Part of that included a nice Suede couch and matching armchair. Samantha's new pets are rats, 3 of them to be exact. She lets them run around on the couch with her. Last week, I noticed a few chew holes on 2 of the cushions. They aren't noticable because they're in the back and they tuck under the couch, but still, I was upset. I mean this is a brand new fuckin' couch.

So, I told her not to let the rats run around in the couch anymore. Logically, the only way to prevent them from chewing up the couch is to not let them on the couch. It's just plain goddamn common sense. She had a fucking fit and told me I can't make arbitrary decisions like that without talking to her, and that she thought the chew holes were over a month old and that the rats aren't chewing the couch anymore, blah, blah, blah.

She continued to let them run on the couch, and of curse, last night, they chew a noticeable hole on the top of the fucking armrest. It makes the entire couch look like shit now. She got all pissed because I was yelling over a material possession, the couch. It wasn't totally about the couch. It was about me expressing my concerns a week ago and her not giving a shit. It was about me trying to be proactive and prevent the damage instead of her being reactive when the damage is already done.

So, we can leave the couch like it is, looking like shit. We can get the arm fixed, which would probably cost a whole lot. Or, we can get matching couch and seat covers to cover them up. That last idea pisses me off more, because we shouldn't have to do that. Plus, it makes me feel like I'm fuckin' white trash. Also, there's a reason we picked the couch and chair we did, because we liked the color and the way it looks. Of course, we wouldn't have to make a decision what to do on the couch, HAD SHE LISTENED TO ME A WEEK AGO.

Normally, I don't badmouth Samantha, but for an educated woman, she can sure be a fucking dumbass at times.

It's like my mom always said: "We can't have anything nice." Now I know exactly what she meant.

I've decided that I'm fat. Well, I've known for quite some time now that I'm out of shape. I used to be in pretty good shape. I used to take Tae Kwon Do. I went on two 500+ mile bike trips. Bicycle, not motorcycle. I was never the fastest or the strongest guy, but I was pretty healthy. I know I'm getting fat because my pants tell me so. For the longest time, I wore pants with a 36 waist. Now, I'm up to 38, and one of my pairs of 38s now seems to be a bit too small.

I've never gone on a diet. I never needed to before now. But, I've got to do something. So, starting today, I'm going to try to eat a bit better. I'd start working out, riding a bike again, and son on, but there are problems with that. First, fitness clubs are pretty expensive, and money is a tad tight right now. Plus, I hate the atmosphere of a fitness club. I'd ride a bike, but a quality bike is at least $400. That's a lot when money is tight. I'd start Tae Kwon Do again, but that shit's expensive too.

I should loose some weight pretty quickly though. My new diet and high metabolism, combined with the excercise provided when I bone Bob's mom 4 times a day should provide satisfactory results.