Did you say reboot the computer, or put my boot up your ass?

The IS department here at National Jewish is really starting to piss me off.

By IS, I mean Information Services. Basically what other places call the IT department. Those pompous assholes who think they know everything about every computer ever made.

The issue is quite simple really. National Jewish is the #1 respiratory hospital in the United States. We’re ranked above the Mayo Clinic. Those pussies are like #2 or #3. As the cream of the crop, one would think we’d be ahead of the average hospital as far as technology. Well, we’re not, and the IS dept. doesn’t want to do anything to change that.

All I’m asking for is wireless internet (Wi-Fi) access throughout the institution for patients and staff. If not the whole institution, then at least in the library. Everyone has Wi-Fi these days including public libraries, bookstores, Starbucks, and most other hospitals. As a library, we’re here to serve the patrons, whether they are patients or staff. National Jewish is supposed to put “Patients First.” Despite this policy, I have to tell patients at least once a day, “No, I’m sorry, you can’t access the internet here with your computer. The coffee shop down the street has it though.”

Even though we’re number 1, we don’t have campus-wide Wi-Fi like Dana College had 6 years ago. Dana Fucking College is more technologically advanced than National Jewish. It pisses me off to no end that our IS dept. doesn’t even try to make this work for the patients and staff.

If you were a staff member here, wouldn’t you want wireless access? If you were the top immunologists in the world doing groundbreaking research, wouldn’t you want wireless access? Wouldn’t you demand it? If you were a patient spending quite a lot of money to get treatment here, and taking time off work to do so, wouldn’t you feel screwed over if you didn’t have a way to connect your laptop?
IS tells us that patients can use the library computers to do their work. THAT’S NOT THE FUCKING POINT ASSHOLES. All they’re doing is making up excuses to NOT install wireless. Their concerns are ones that other institutions solved ages ago. When my boss Roz sent out an e-mail to IS yesterday concerning wireless, this was their response:

• At this time Information Systems cannot control non-NJC laptops that access the wireless network. We have a number of wireless networks in the center and are experienced in the application of wireless and how to control it, but there is no way to control the laptop, which could contain viruses. The wireless network will not be opened up in the future, unless the are new processes that work to control the laptop and the cost is reasonable.

WHAT THE FUCK???? They’re concerned over outside laptops accessing National Jewish’s internal Intranet. All we want is an internet line NOT connected to the Intranet and shunted through a wireless emitter. And you shouldn’t want to CONTROL someone else’s laptop anyway you fascist bastards. Viruses can be a problem, but there are viruses introduced to the system every damn day by e-mail and such. If your virus scan software handles that, it should be able to handle multiple instances. It doesn’t matter anyway since the library Wi-Fi wouldn’t go through the Intranet servers. You mooks say that wireless access is already at National Jewish in certain places? Well isn’t that just dandy? Sure, the IS dept. Probably has their own Wi-Fi. The library does have it for staff only, However, we don’t have the access codes for it. So, if staff does want to use it, they have to contact the one person in IS who has the code. IF that assfuck decides to answer his phone, he schedules a time to meet with the staff member and make sure their computer is virus-free before giving them the code. This process usually takes 2 days. Two goddamn days?! As for the “reasonable cost” bullshit, Dana College can afford it. Every other hospital in Denver can afford it. I’m pretty sure with all the money this place makes, it could be easily budgeted in.

You lazy fucks are denying this privilege solely on your apathy and incompetence. If my boss doesn’t take the next step, I will. The President of National Jewish told everyone, no matter how shitty their job is, to inform him of things that can be improved. I’ll inform him, and when I do, I’ll have stats on all the other medical centers that have wireless. I’ll have documentation of how wrong IS is and the need for Wi-Fi.

The staff is suffering and customer service is suffering while IS sits on their fat asses shoving Twinkies down their food holes. I sincerely wish the IS Department a great FOctober.