Title Unspecified

I'm so tired that I can't think of anything remotely clever for the title of today's post.

So I was at a little "get together" the other night. Of course, alcohol was present otherwise I wouldn't have been. I soon came to realize that there's one more thing I hate in this world: Pretentious Job-Liars. What is a Pretentious Job-Liar, or PJL, you may ask. Let me give you the run down of the PJL I met the other night:
Me: And so, what do you do?
PJL: I work in the restaurant industry.
Me: Uh huh.
This PJL couldn't have been more than 23 years old, which meant since this pompous ass in in the "restaurant industry," he's either a waiter or a cook. Why can't he just say he's a fuckin' cook or waiter? Oh no, you're soo much more respected in my eyes since you're in the "restaurant industry" instead of just being a waiter. Well lah dee dah Mr. Fancypants. If someone asks what I do, I tell them I'm a Library Tech at a medical library, because that's what I am. I don't say I'm part of the "Medical Information Distribution Industry." I hope this ass falls on a fork. Oh I'm sorry, I hope this "restaurant industrier" falls on a pronged eating utensial composed primarily of stainless steel.

Alright, now I don't often use other's jokes in my blog because I find it tacky. However, I discovered an online comic called Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. I can't post all of these I find humorous, but since last week I ragged on William for being a RPG freak with no life, I'll showcase the toons dealing with RPGs:



Maybe next week, I'll showcase one or two that sum up my life.

I got a phone call from Dick Cheney this morning. He said to me, "Sean, I'd really love to hear what you think on the DVD releases for this week. It'd really cheer me up after shotting my hunting buddy in the face." How can I turn down the VP? Here you go Dickey-Baby.

• 3rd Rock from the Sun: Season 3 - This show is funny and you know it.
• Domino (New Line Platinum Series - Widescreen) - I heard this movie was really bad. Like actual dominos, this movie seems pretty dull. Honestly, who in the hell played with Dominos as a kid? And, if you did, define "play."
• Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Widescreen Deluxe Edition) - I thought a special edition of this came out last year. This being said though, it is a funny movie, at least the first 20 times you watch it.
• North Country (Widescreen) - Since this has gotten high critical acclaim, I actually do want to see it. Yes, I know, it doesn't have any ninjas or laser battles in space, but I'm not as shallow as you think I am. Now, on to the laser battles in space....
• Ultimate Avengers: The Movie - Thanks to ToysRUs completely ignoring DVD release dates, I managed to see this film last Friday. I liked it even though it deviates from the comic. The voice acting could be better though and it's only 71 minutes long. Hardly long enough to be called a "Full-length animated movie" like they're claiming it to be.
• The Weather Man (Widescreen Edition) - Nicolas Cage can be very good if the role itself is written well. Also, Michael Caine is in this so that alone is a selling point. The director, Gore Verbinski, is hiot and miss though. Sure, he directed Pirates of the Caribbean, but he also directed The Mexican and The Ring. Nonetheless, I'll definately rent this one.

There you go Dick. I hope this helps.

Last week, I said I'd quickly run over the movies that I don't want to see this year. I won't be made a liar of.

• Ultraviolet - If I was just into action movies this would be awesome. However, I also like a plot and good acting. This appears to have neither. This movie looks simply pathetic.
• The Hills Have Eyes - Another remake of an old horror film...yay.
• The Shaggy Dog - Another remake of an old comedy...yay.
• Basic Instinct 2 - Isn't Sharon Stone like 50 now?
• Scary Movie 4 - I hate these films with a passion. These films are only successful because the majority of the population are mindless heathens who think toilet humor is funny. I'll have to admit though, the word poop is quite funny.
• The Whore's Son - Andy?!? I have no idea what this movie is about, but I had to make that joke.
• Poseidon - Yet another remake. Who knows, this could be good. I don't have high expectations for it though, and will pass on seeing it in the theatres.
• The Omen - No, not a remake, but a prequel. I just don't care.
• The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift - Not only is this the 3rd movie in a crappy series, but none of the stars of the last 2 movies are in this. I know it's unbelievable, but this movie looks like it will be even shittier then the 1st two.
• Garfield's A Tale of Two Kitties - I could make some joke about this movie and a litter box, but that would just be redundant. You know it will suck without any jokes made.
• Clerks II - Kevin Smith fans all over the world gasp in horror when they see this film is on my list. They will gasp in horror while eating Cheetos in their parents' basement while shuffling through their decks of Magic cards. I'm just not impressed with Kevin Smith, especially after the dumb-ass Jay and Silent Bob movie. God himself cried for humanity when that was released.
• Snakes on a Plane - Oh how I have insulted this movie! I can't even see this title without snickering. I've already told you of the sequel, but have you heard that a prequel is planned? Yep, and it seems like a winner: Badgers in a Pinto.
• World Trade Center - We all knew this movie would arrive sometime. I may go see it in the theatre just to be an ass and stand up halfway through the movie to yell, "Oh shit, I know how this movie ends!"
• Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning - Hollywood sickens me.
• Untitled Friday the 13th Origin Film - The sickening continues.
• The Grudge 2 - And it continues some more.
• Saw 3 - Still sickened.
• The Santa Clause 3 - Could it possibly be that I'm still sickened? Yes.
• Casino Royale - I do like James Bond films for the most part, and this new Bond seems like a good actor, but the script seems poorly written and I've got major issues with the continuity of the story. It's a James Bond origin story that takes place in present day with current M Judi Dench. What the fuck? If you're familiar with Bond, you know that this is just stupid.

That's it for now. I need to go to the bathroom after writing this list.

Must....cleanse....body.....of.....filth.....