Now this is some stupid-ass shit right here

Andy's post about the law in Georgia reminded me of this state law in Wisconsin which is one of the most insane I've ever seen. Trust me, this is real. I can refer you the the PDF located on their .gov server if you really want to read it all.

Wis. Stat. sec. 93.35
Weather modification:
( C ) “Weather Modification” means any activity performed with the intention of producing artificial changes in the composition, motion and resulting behavior of the atmosphere.
(2) No person may engage in weather modification activities without obtaining a professional weather modification license under sub. (4) and weather modification operational permit under sub. (6).

So I guess Cobra's weather dominator in an old G.I. Joe cartoon would be illegal, at least in one state. Here are my questions: How does one go about getting one these weather modification licenses and permits? Does one have to take a weather modification test to prove he or she can successfully modify the weather? Who is qualified enough to administer the test? I bet this law came about after some redneck was struck by lightning while standing on the roof of his barn with his shotgun screaming at the thunderstorm, "I reckon you git offa my prop'ty fore I come up dere and make ye!"

Also, you should be pleased to know that if you eat at any restaurant in Wisconsin while waiting for your weather permit to be laminated, you won't be screwed over on your dairy spread:

97.18(4)
(4) The serving of colored oleomargarine or margarine at a public eating place as a substitute for table butter is prohibited unless it is ordered by the customer.

And since Andy was talking about Georgia laws, I'll add this one:

16-12-100.1.(6) 'Sadomasochistic abuse' means flagellation or torture by or upon a person who is nude or clad in undergarments or in revealing or bizarre costume or the condition of being fettered, bound, or otherwise physically restrained on the part of one so clothed.

Fuck Georgia! I'm staying right here in Colorado where I can handcuff as many clowns as I please!

Lunch was quite unpleasing today. Banquet should change their slogan from: "Bank on Banquet," to: "Banquet: Meals even a hobo wouldn't eat."

Alright, enough with the tomfoolery, and on to the DVD releases and reviews for this week:

• Doogie Howser, M.D.: Season Three - The prescription for constipation!
• Final Destination Scared 2 Death Pack - These movies are Death's way of killing us through shitty writing, acting, and direction.
• Lord of War (2-Disc Special Edition) - I wanted to see this one in the theatres but never got the chance. In the end, I did myself a favor and saved 8 bucks. It's probably only worth a rental.
• The Man - Did anyone see this movie? Really? However, a huge shout-out goes to my homie Samuel L. Jackson for expanding his horizons and finally switching roles to to one he has never played before: A bad-ass black dude with a gun. My respect for him as an actor will go up once he plays a 125 pound, white, eyeglass-wearing, computer-nerd from North Dakota.
• Resident Evil: Apocalypse (Single Disc Version) - Let's see here, we've got the same craptacular movie, but with none of the special features that might have given the original release any value whatsoever. Sweet! I'll buy about a dozen of these and give them out to all my friends as Christmas gifts next year. They'll be so thrilled!
• Titus: Season 3 - Yes, this is a sitcom, and generally I hate sitcoms. This show; however, was actually pretty funny and a radical departure from the standard sitcom formula. I have the first volume of this, so I may just buy this one as well. The only problem i had with the 1st volume was the laugh track. After about 2 minutes of fake audience laughter, I've had enough of it. How about you let me decide when the jokes are funny eh?
• Two for the Money (Widescreen) - True story: This movie was based upon the life of a real-life sports guy who made a lot of money making picks for sports gambling. He then decided his life would make a great movie. I'll make a pick of my own: If you rent or buy this movie, you'll loose your money and feel such emotions as rage, guilt, and depression.

And, that's it for DVDs, which makes it a shitty week for DVD fans such as myself. Next week isn't any more promising I'm sorry to say.