The hell you say!

Moving into a new apartment isn't bad, it's the packing up of all my posessions that really blows. I started packing last night. Since the move starts on Friday, I thought I'd better start now. One never realizes how much shit they have until one has to move it all. For once, I think the hobos have it right, put everything you own in plastic sacks in an old shopping cart. Quit your job, ignore hygeine, see the world!!

Now to the complaining: What the hell does it take for people to understand the English language. Now, I'm not talking about Mexican immigrants or anyone like that. I know they'll never learn English, and I'm ok with that, as long as they keep roofing our houses and manning the late-night drive-through windows at Taco Bell. I'm talking about the people who rightfully should be able to understand it, like the self-righteous middle-to-high class a-holes who come into Mervyn's looking for a deal now that the store is closing. Everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE, signs are posted explaining that "ALL SALES ARE FINAL. NO REFUNDS OR RETURNS." By "everywhere," I mean on every wall, column, door, display, and fixture in the store. They are even posted above the urinals in the Men's bathroom so that one can both urunate and be informed at the same time. These signs are huge and they are bright yellow. Yet, there are still morons who buy something, look at the receipt, then look at me and say, "Oh, I didn't know this was this much, I'd like to return it." Finally, I get to say what I've always wanted to say: "No." "No, I can not return it, and I'm not sorry about it either. I am however sorry that I don't have a sock full of quarters to swing at your face. Now get the fuck out of my store......bitch." One customer tried to return a toaster that he didn't even take out of the box. When I, and the manager, and the head of the liqiudation company told him no, he threw the toaster at the ground and stormed off. I'm not saying he lightly tossed it in the direction of the ground, no, he spiked the toaster with all of his might much like a steroid-enhanced football player would spike the ball after the game winning touchdown. I was really hoping that he went home and had an uncontrollable craving for toast.

Now for a complaint on comic books. I'm well aware that delays are part of the industry. I'm aware that certain individuals in the industry are overworked. None of this justifes the farce that is Secret War. The fifth and final issue should be coming out this week, and I say should because one never really knows untill it's in hand. The first one was released in April.....of 2004. Twenty months later we're finally going to get to finish it? Well thanks a lot for your generosity Mr. Bendis and Ms. Dell'Otto. Thanks for your concern over the people who buy your work and support you. Maybe I'll have to experience a few delays in buying the book huh? I'd like to know how it ends, but in truth, I'd rather see this series fail miserably in the end because I don't give a shit about it anymore. Secret War is like Sooooo one year ago. Much like my fasion sense.

Would you like to know what is coming tomorrow in the way of DVDs? No? Well sod off 'cause I don't right fookin' care!

The 40-Year-Old Virgin (Unrated Widescreen) - Surprisingly, I've heard this is quite a funny movie with a point and a plot, but I've still no wish to see it.

Bad News Bears (Widescreen Collector's Edition) - I've heard that this too, is pretty funny, but in a year full of crappy remakes and sequels, I'll pass until it's a $1 rental.

The Dukes of Hazzard: The Complete Fifth Season - There was a 3rd and 4th season?

Frank Miller's Sin City: Recut · Extended · Unrated - This DVD has been rated U, for Unnecessary.

Garfield: The Movie - Purrrfect Collector's Edition - In addition the the U rating, this has also been rated H, for Hunk of crap. I ask God why he allows such abominations to exist, and I get no answer. Maybe because, like Garfield, God doesn't really exist. *Zing* Ha cha cha cha!!

The Island - Now this is a release that I'll buy. I liked this movie. Sure, it had problems and it was pretty formularic, but it was fun.

King Kong: Peter Jackson's Production Diaries - You egotistical rat bastard! I hope you drown in your pool full of money.

The Simpsons: The Complete Seventh Season (Collectible Marge Head Pack) - Is it just me, or does the title of this release sound just a tiny bit pornographic?

I have nothing else to say. Begone with you so that you may continue your insolent scampering about this Earth.

I.......said..........SCAMPER!