You Sons of Bitches...

Normally I wouldn't post at this time of the week, but I must get this out....

I'm quite the fan of the Die Hard films. So, naturally, when I heard of plans for Die Hard 4.0, I was pleased. But of course, Sean has no reason to be pleased now does he? They just announced that Die Hard 4.o will be directed by none other than Len Wiseman. Well that's just fuckin' peachy. Hand a franchise I love over to the jackass who directed both Underworld films. Directed AND wrote may I add. I'm not a fan of the Underworld movies, mainly because they suck.

You see that's the bad thing about shitty movies. Not only do they spawn shitty sequels that clog up the rental racks, but the movie studios see these successful shitty movies and mistakenly think that the movies aren't shitty and hire these hack writers and directors to "better" existing goodness. let me list some other examples of hacks being given projects they don't deserve:

Eli Roth, the "genius" behind Cabin Fever and Hostel has been hired to direct The Cell, a movie based on Stephen King's latest book. By the way, Cabin Fever was one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen.

Jonathan Lemkin, who wrote Lethal Weapon 4, was hired to write a script for Superman Returns before the current movie's idea was accepted. His idea was to have Superman impregnate Lois Lane right before he dies. Lois then gives birth, dying during childbirth, resulting in a fully-grown new Superman that takes over where his father left off to save the Earth. I'm not kidding. I can't make this shit up people.

Along the lines of Superman, McG, hot off the success of Charlie's Angels was also supposed to direct Superman Returns but dropped out for personal reasons and to direct Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle.

Aliens Vs. Predator did so well at the box office that Fox seems to be moving ahead with AVP2. The early script, has the story taking place in present day in a small Texas town infiltrated by "Predaliens." The Predalien Hive is rumored to be a Super K-Mart. Once again, I shit you not. This is the horrible truth. In fact, take a gander at the possible movie tagline: "For the first time ever, an ALIEN FOOTPRINT forms on American soil.” If it wasn't the continuing death of another franchse I loved, I'd laugh.

Of course, I could be wrong on the whole Die Hard / Wiseman thing. Disney hired the guy who directed The Mexican and The Ring to direct Pirates of the Caribbean and that turned out great. He also directed The Weather Man, a truly entertaining film. I gues I'll just have to wait and see.