The Easter Bunny is on his way.....

as are my parents. And, I swear to God, if my mom brings me a package of Peeps, I'll kick her in the stomach. For the longest time, no matter how many times I told good old mom how much I hated Peeps, she would forget and buy me some anyway. Sure, it's been a few years since she bought them for me, but I figure this is right about the time for her to forget and buy me a big package of them.

Honestly though, I could never kick my own mother in the stomach. I'd pay someone else to do it.

What my mother will be bringing me however, is an 8 bottle wine cooler. Not the kind of wine cooler that 14 year olds drink in a misguided attempt to be cool, but an electric refridgerator-type appliance to chill 8 tasty bottles of wine. How sweet is that? Most moms and dads buy their children clothes and coasters and such. My parents are bringing me an appliance for the sole purpose of booze storage. This addition will free up valuable space in the refridgerator for other necessities such as more beer.

I went to a toy show yeaterday. You'd think that Denver, being a major city and all, would be able to put on a respectable toy show. Well, it can't. Upon entering the show, I found out that Richard Hatch was a guest. No, not the Richard Hatch who ran around naken on Survivor. I'm talking about the man who played Apollo on the original Battlestar Galactica and who plays Tom Zarek on the new Battlestar Galactica. I was consideing getting his autograph until I saw he was charging $20 for it. Frak you Dick. If it wasn't for the new Battlesar Galactica show, Dick would still be living in the past, writing shitty BSG novels, and hoping for the chance to once again don the uniform of Apollo, all the while crying inside knowing his career was over. Dick owes me $20 for not openly mocking him as I walked past him.

I'm going to California with Samantha in the 1st week of May for her parent's birthday parties. It isn't the trip or her parents that I have a problem with. California itself is the problem, at least the Bay area where her parents live. I absolutley DESPISE that area. Sure, there's a lot to do and a lot to see, but it's overly crowded, overly expensive, and full of pompous dickheads who think they're better than you because they can afford to live there. And, the traffic blows. I feel like a small Asian man on a trike in the middle of Beijing traffic while I'm in San Francisco, and I've driven in some shitty cities before.

Now I'm sad because I don't have a trike.

I received my spiffy new X-Box from my buddy Travis last week. When I say "new", I really mean "Used but Enhanced." I have so many games to play, but recently I;ve been playing Burnout 3 - Takedown. It really is quite stress relieving to both race and crash as many other cars as you possibly can on crowded city streets. I discovered that games can have an effect on human behavior when driving to a Wal-Mart after playing the game, I had the urge to ram the old hag in the Camry in front of me and send her flipping into a ditch. From now on, I will take a few minutes break between playing this game and driving to avoid horrible accidents and multiple-year prison sentences for Vehicular Manslaughter.

Are you prepared to learn all that I know about DVD releases this week? If not, turn back now. You have been warned.

• Bugsy Malone - I may actually buy this one. What is it you may ask? It's actually a gangster musical starring children only. Yes, it does sound quite stupid, but I watched it a lot as a child so I'm quite fond of it. This film is also one of Jodie Foster's first.
• Fun with Dick and Jane - I'll rent this. , but to be honest, I'm tiring of Carrey in the comedic roles. Sure, he can be funny, but his dramatic roles are quite good.
• The Greatest Game Ever Played - Another one of those Disney "Oh look how inspirational this true story of this sports related acheivement is." Although Golf is hardly a sport. And much like Golf, this movie is probably very tedious.
• Mission: Impossible/M:I-2 - A two-in-one review. The first film = Pretty good. The second film = Filth. I'll buy the 1st one since I don't already own it. As for the second one, if I didn't already own it, I still wouldn't buy it. I don't know why I bought it in the first place. MI:2 was part of the IMF itself. The Implausible Movie Force.
• Wolf Creek (Unrated) - Yet ANOTHER stupid-ass horror film where some guy runs around killing people. I'm really becoming tired of seeing titles like this on the DVD release lists. Movies like this make me wish for the sweet embrace of death, or at least a fried foods induced coma.

So that's it for the DVD releases this week. Next week is pretty slow too so you may just want to buy a Nerf ball and throw it around to amuse yourself for the time being.