The election is coming up soon. If you're in a state that offered early voting, you may have already cast your vote. I sincerely hope, that for the good of the country, you didn't vote for Andy Miller.
Andy Miller is going to ask you to vote for him. Andy Miller may even offer you sexual favors so that you vote for him. Andy Miller will tell you how important it is to vote, unless you're Andy Miller. Andy Miller isn't going to vote this year. This is a fact. Andy Miller will tell you how important democracy is, yet he willingly forgoes his basic right to vote. Why would he do such a thing? I can't answer that question my friends, but I would like to give you a few names. These are names of others who won't be voting this year: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Kim Jong-il. Muammar al-Gaddafi. Adolf Hitler. Ernst Stavro Blofeld. The monster from Cloverfield. The Romulan Empire.
That tells you something, doesn't it?
Let's talk about heritage for a moment. I'm from Nebraska. You know who else is from Nebraska? If you said Mr T., you would be wrong. If you said Gerald Ford, then you're absolutely right. Andy Miller was born in Montana. Do you know which presidents are from Montana? No United States Presidents, that's for sure. Daniel Johnson is from Montana. Daniel Johnson is on death row in Montana. Daniel Johnson writes poetry. Wait a minute, Andy Miller writes poetry too. What a coincidence. Would you rather have A Gerald Ford as a President, or a guy on death row? Rest assured, Daniel Johnson is a real person, who is really on death row in Montana. I did not fabricate a person like Andy Miller has fabricated “a family that loves him.” We're sick of your lies Andy. Sick.
Now that I think of it, Daniel Johnson would have made a good running mate for Senator Miller. Andy Miller enjoys showering with men, and with his tiny child-like hands, he probably drops the soap all the time.
Unfortunately, I must conclude this post to continue on the campaign trail. The same campaign trail where I listen to the concerns of the American people. Senator Miller isn't on the campaign trail. He isn't listening to you. He's at home cooking a tofu-bean casserole for his wife. His fabricated wife? I'll let you decide.
Thank you.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Andy, for your consideration
As your opponent in this current election, I'd like to take a few moments and illustrate for you exactly how people feel about you. If respected places of worship feel this way about a candidate, then you know he isn't fit for office.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
My response about Senator Miller's statements
That was a great little speech Andy, and I respect your opinions; however, I’d like to respond to your statements, and your factual errors.
Wal-Marts aren’t all that bad. If it wasn’t for Wal-Marts, and their new affordable prescription plan, poor folk like your mother wouldn’t be able to afford their herpes medication.
Cheez-its are a wonderful snack food, and I challenge you to find evidence to the contrary. You can make these outrageous claims all you want, but the American people deserve the truth, the same American people who happily grow fat on Cheez-its. I’d also like to take this opportunity to re-state my position that I dislike fat people.
Your plan for foreign countries seems like a great idea and all, but you’re living in a dream world. Sure, that terrorist will eat his gourmet cookie and watch Wall-e, but then he’ll say to himself, “I’ve still got time, I should go watch another of these fine and enjoyable American films.” The terrorist will then pay to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua, and his anger at us will grow to unimaginable heights. You think 9-11 was horrible? Just wait until the post-Chihuahua attacks start, and then you’ll be truly sorry.
I am entirely pro-choice. If I’m elected, I can assure you that someone will try to assassinate me. I’m going to need a human shield, and there’s only so much the Secret Service can do. God bless the Secret Service and all, but there’s only so much they can do. One needs a lightweight meat shield to toss up in front of you in a hurry. Tell me I’m wrong Senator Miller. You know I’m right on this issue.
For the record, you voted against essential funding for troop equipment. Kermit wouldn’t have died if he had proper body armor to protect him from the roadside I.E.D. that tragically took his, and Dr. Teeth’s, life. I voted for the troop funding. I was also at Kermit’s funeral. Where were you?
I never said that the ability to fire a shoulder-mounted rocket at a moving vehicle qualifies a person to teach, but it is a really fucking cool skill to have.
Lions in the jungle? What does that have to do with the issues? You’re just insulting the American people with your techniques to distract them from your inexperience. How about you stay on target and focus on the issues at hand?
I was at Dana College for four and a half years, not five and a half. You insult librarians, but maybe if you picked up a book that contained facts, as opposed to your normal reading of poetry and pornography, you’d have the ability to write a campaign speech that actually makes sense.
I’m not an egotistical man. By definition, egotism is an inflated sense of self-importance. This implies that an egotistical person really isn’t as important as he or she thinks. It’s a well known fact that I’m better than Senator Miller.
Despite Miller’s claims to the contrary, he is inferior to me, and his everyday actions prove it. He paints. Painting is a clear sign of arrogance. He’s also a wine-snob. He may tell you he’s not, but he’s a big stupid liar, and his pants are probably on fire. Right this instance, Senator Miller is sitting cross-legged, like many bisexuals, in his lounge chair with a glass of merlot in one hand, and a paintbrush in the other. No doubt painting a picture of himself having sexual relations with John Q. Public’s sister.
Senator Miller said himself that he shops at a grocery store called “Giant Eagle.” Of course he does. Only an unpatriotic individual like Andy would buy his groceries in the hollowed out corpse of a bald eagle, a mighty symbol of this great nation. Senator Miller not only buys his organic tofu-based foods in the belly of the once proud animal, but he also buys little 4 by 6 inch American flags, so that he can wipe his ass with them.
Senator Miler is the wrong choice. If you elect him, he’ll pee on your dog. If you don’t have a dog, he’ll go to the animal shelter and adopt one for you just so he can pee on it. And, once he’s through with that, he’ll put the dog to sleep anyway. Do you want a urine-soaked canine decomposing in your yard, or worse yet, your apartment? Of course you don’t want that. Vote for me, and I promise you the changes you want, not that changes that Senator Miller wants. If he gets his way, sex with animals will not only be legal, but mandatory.
If we wanted to have sex with animals, we’d move to Australia. Tell Senator Miller, no, scream at Senator Miller, “This is America mother fucker, and we’re not about to let you force animal sodomy upon us!”
Thank you for your time.
Wal-Marts aren’t all that bad. If it wasn’t for Wal-Marts, and their new affordable prescription plan, poor folk like your mother wouldn’t be able to afford their herpes medication.
Cheez-its are a wonderful snack food, and I challenge you to find evidence to the contrary. You can make these outrageous claims all you want, but the American people deserve the truth, the same American people who happily grow fat on Cheez-its. I’d also like to take this opportunity to re-state my position that I dislike fat people.
Your plan for foreign countries seems like a great idea and all, but you’re living in a dream world. Sure, that terrorist will eat his gourmet cookie and watch Wall-e, but then he’ll say to himself, “I’ve still got time, I should go watch another of these fine and enjoyable American films.” The terrorist will then pay to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua, and his anger at us will grow to unimaginable heights. You think 9-11 was horrible? Just wait until the post-Chihuahua attacks start, and then you’ll be truly sorry.
I am entirely pro-choice. If I’m elected, I can assure you that someone will try to assassinate me. I’m going to need a human shield, and there’s only so much the Secret Service can do. God bless the Secret Service and all, but there’s only so much they can do. One needs a lightweight meat shield to toss up in front of you in a hurry. Tell me I’m wrong Senator Miller. You know I’m right on this issue.
For the record, you voted against essential funding for troop equipment. Kermit wouldn’t have died if he had proper body armor to protect him from the roadside I.E.D. that tragically took his, and Dr. Teeth’s, life. I voted for the troop funding. I was also at Kermit’s funeral. Where were you?
I never said that the ability to fire a shoulder-mounted rocket at a moving vehicle qualifies a person to teach, but it is a really fucking cool skill to have.
Lions in the jungle? What does that have to do with the issues? You’re just insulting the American people with your techniques to distract them from your inexperience. How about you stay on target and focus on the issues at hand?
I was at Dana College for four and a half years, not five and a half. You insult librarians, but maybe if you picked up a book that contained facts, as opposed to your normal reading of poetry and pornography, you’d have the ability to write a campaign speech that actually makes sense.
I’m not an egotistical man. By definition, egotism is an inflated sense of self-importance. This implies that an egotistical person really isn’t as important as he or she thinks. It’s a well known fact that I’m better than Senator Miller.
Despite Miller’s claims to the contrary, he is inferior to me, and his everyday actions prove it. He paints. Painting is a clear sign of arrogance. He’s also a wine-snob. He may tell you he’s not, but he’s a big stupid liar, and his pants are probably on fire. Right this instance, Senator Miller is sitting cross-legged, like many bisexuals, in his lounge chair with a glass of merlot in one hand, and a paintbrush in the other. No doubt painting a picture of himself having sexual relations with John Q. Public’s sister.
Senator Miller said himself that he shops at a grocery store called “Giant Eagle.” Of course he does. Only an unpatriotic individual like Andy would buy his groceries in the hollowed out corpse of a bald eagle, a mighty symbol of this great nation. Senator Miller not only buys his organic tofu-based foods in the belly of the once proud animal, but he also buys little 4 by 6 inch American flags, so that he can wipe his ass with them.
Senator Miler is the wrong choice. If you elect him, he’ll pee on your dog. If you don’t have a dog, he’ll go to the animal shelter and adopt one for you just so he can pee on it. And, once he’s through with that, he’ll put the dog to sleep anyway. Do you want a urine-soaked canine decomposing in your yard, or worse yet, your apartment? Of course you don’t want that. Vote for me, and I promise you the changes you want, not that changes that Senator Miller wants. If he gets his way, sex with animals will not only be legal, but mandatory.
If we wanted to have sex with animals, we’d move to Australia. Tell Senator Miller, no, scream at Senator Miller, “This is America mother fucker, and we’re not about to let you force animal sodomy upon us!”
Thank you for your time.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
A few things
I saw Eagle Eye this weekend. Apparently a few others did as well since it made about 30 million. From the trailers, I didn't really expect to like it. I only saw it because Samantha was at a conference and I had nothing else to do waiting for her. I liked it. I actually liked it quite a lot. A while back, I called what I thought would be one of the plot twists, and I was right, but that didn't make it a bad movie. my suggestion is, if you're planning to see it, don't read anything on it. I would have been pissed to read spoilers of this film before seeing it.
Paul Newman died of cancer. On this very blog a few weeks back, I posted a review of The Sting. Another great actor is gone.
Sarah Palin is a stupid, stupid bitch. Seriously, if you vote for McCain now, you're against the Constitution, and you're against quality leadership. There I said it. Try and prove me wrong if you think otherwise.
That leads me to McCain's announcement last week to "suspend" his campaign to work on the economic situation. First of all, if you've read into the situation at all, you'll know that Obama called McCain personally to talk about a joint statement on this very matter. After the call, McCain made the announcement himself in a pathetic attempt to one-up his opponent. Secondly, what the fuck is McCain's involvement in the matter going to help anyway? Like one more brain working on this issue is going to solve it? Where was McCain's valuable "input" on all the other decisions made without him while he was campaigning?
The Presidential debate last week was great because it just showcased that Obama has ideas, whereas all McCain has is the "Obama is inexperienced" argument. In my opinion, McCain has no right playing that card after picking Palin, whos only political experience is voting against people's rights and being able to see Russia on a sunny day from her home in Mooselandia. She's going to look like such an uneducated backwoods hick in the upcoming debate, and that pleases me greatly.
Paul Newman died of cancer. On this very blog a few weeks back, I posted a review of The Sting. Another great actor is gone.
Sarah Palin is a stupid, stupid bitch. Seriously, if you vote for McCain now, you're against the Constitution, and you're against quality leadership. There I said it. Try and prove me wrong if you think otherwise.
That leads me to McCain's announcement last week to "suspend" his campaign to work on the economic situation. First of all, if you've read into the situation at all, you'll know that Obama called McCain personally to talk about a joint statement on this very matter. After the call, McCain made the announcement himself in a pathetic attempt to one-up his opponent. Secondly, what the fuck is McCain's involvement in the matter going to help anyway? Like one more brain working on this issue is going to solve it? Where was McCain's valuable "input" on all the other decisions made without him while he was campaigning?
The Presidential debate last week was great because it just showcased that Obama has ideas, whereas all McCain has is the "Obama is inexperienced" argument. In my opinion, McCain has no right playing that card after picking Palin, whos only political experience is voting against people's rights and being able to see Russia on a sunny day from her home in Mooselandia. She's going to look like such an uneducated backwoods hick in the upcoming debate, and that pleases me greatly.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Another damn fine film
Here's another film you should watch again. Yes, I said I'd stop doing it...but I LIED!!!! Mwuhahahahahahaha!
The Sting
I picked up the special edition on sale at Barnes & Noble a few weeks back. I hadn't seen it since I was a kid, and even then, I remembered nothing about it. Well, almost nothing. It's odd what you remember, because up until I re-watched it tonight, whenever I heard this film mentioned, the image of a long outside staircase popped into my head. Sure enough, that staircase was in the film. It's weird that I remembered that and nothing else. The Sting stars Robert Redford and Paul Newman, who are spectacular, Newman in particular. The basic plot is Newman and Redford set out to pull an elaborate con after a friend of theirs is killed. I've never seen Ocean's 13, but from what I hear about the plot, it seems like The Sting may have been an inspiration. Hell, it's hard for a classic film like this not to influence future films.
This may be one of those films that you've never seen, due to it's age. It was released in 1973. It actually won best picture that year too, but that really isn't the reason to watch it. many undeserving films have won best picture. The reason to watch it is because it's just a damn enjoyable film. Hollywood is increasing the frequency in which they re-make films, which is a damn shame. Some idiot will undoubtedly pitch the idea of The Sting re-make to a studio, just because that's the way things work nowadays. Why write a new movie when you've got a library of old films to re-make and rape? Seriously, if they re-make this, I'll fuckin' cry.
If you have seen it already, then you know you should watch it again. I shouldn't have to tell you. But then again, some of you are like children, and you need me to guide you along.
Watch it.
Do it.
Do it now.
What are you waiting for?
Do it.
If you don't watch it, you're getting a time-out, I swear to God.
The Sting
I picked up the special edition on sale at Barnes & Noble a few weeks back. I hadn't seen it since I was a kid, and even then, I remembered nothing about it. Well, almost nothing. It's odd what you remember, because up until I re-watched it tonight, whenever I heard this film mentioned, the image of a long outside staircase popped into my head. Sure enough, that staircase was in the film. It's weird that I remembered that and nothing else. The Sting stars Robert Redford and Paul Newman, who are spectacular, Newman in particular. The basic plot is Newman and Redford set out to pull an elaborate con after a friend of theirs is killed. I've never seen Ocean's 13, but from what I hear about the plot, it seems like The Sting may have been an inspiration. Hell, it's hard for a classic film like this not to influence future films.
This may be one of those films that you've never seen, due to it's age. It was released in 1973. It actually won best picture that year too, but that really isn't the reason to watch it. many undeserving films have won best picture. The reason to watch it is because it's just a damn enjoyable film. Hollywood is increasing the frequency in which they re-make films, which is a damn shame. Some idiot will undoubtedly pitch the idea of The Sting re-make to a studio, just because that's the way things work nowadays. Why write a new movie when you've got a library of old films to re-make and rape? Seriously, if they re-make this, I'll fuckin' cry.
If you have seen it already, then you know you should watch it again. I shouldn't have to tell you. But then again, some of you are like children, and you need me to guide you along.
Watch it.
Do it.
Do it now.
What are you waiting for?
Do it.
If you don't watch it, you're getting a time-out, I swear to God.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
A few months ago, I FINALLY take the initiative to budget our money and keep close record of what we spend. In the last week though, none of that's fucking mattered as our bank account has see-sawed from a positive amount to a negative one over and over....and for once, NONE of it is my god damn fault.
First: Even though our apartment complex said they'd hold our rent check until the 7th of August. They cashed it on the 4th. That put us negative quite a bit. The bank was going to charge us 20, yes 20, overdraft fees for multiple charges that were processed after that. They went easy on us and only charged us 6 seeing that is wasn't out error. Of course, all the apartment complex had to say was, "Oops, sorry 'bout that." Then we got paid, and were back in the positive.
Second: Sideshow toys charged us $350 for a diorama on August 15th. That's great and all, but they tried to charge us for the same diorama on July 8th. I called and canceled it then, I closed my account there on the same call. Yet, on August 15th, they had no record of us canceling the order, the refund they gave us, or the canceling of our account. That charge put us into the negative until they called the bank. Also, we found out that we had about $150 in cashback money that we transfered over. That left us back in the positive with more than I had before the fuck up.
Third: We had to go to the vet tonight for an emergency visit for one of our rats. I went to do a small cash advance to make sure we had money for the rat just in case it was expensive. At the same time, I looked at our savings account. Our total in the savings account read: $1,252.54. We spent all of our savings on the wedding, pretty much, so we shouldn't have that much. You want to know how much should be in our savings? $50. On August 11th, 1,202.54 was deposited into the savings. We didn't do that. Of course, U.S. Bank's wonderful fucking computer systems are down, so they can't give us any details on the deposit. I'd sure love to spend the money, but I'm not touching it, because I know it isn't ours, and the minute I do spend it, they'll want it back. Tomorrow, we have to make time to physically go to the bank to figure it out.
Fourth: The vet bill was $146.20. I gave the woman at the vet office my Visa card, and the dumb fucking skank accidentally added another number. Yay! We got charged $1,496.20! Yay! She processed a refund, but we all know that those don't go through as quickly, so our account shows us being over $900 negative because the refund hasn't shown up yet. I called the bank, and of course, they can't remove the authorization charge until they speak with the vet's office. I tell him, "I've got their number right here, give them a call and we can do this conference call style and get it worked out." The bank guy says, "Oh, we don't call out, they'll have to call us." FUCKING SONS OF FUCKERS! now, I have to call the vet and give them my account info, so they can call and work through the automated menus and shit. After I do that, I wait about 10 minutes. The vet calls me back and says "I called them, but their systems are down, so they want me to call back in 30 minutes." WHAT THE FUCK? Their systems are down? Their systems were working fine enough to process the $1,500 charge, but they're "down" when there's a mistake to be corrected? I'M SO GOD DAMN ANGRY. The rat will have to go to our regular vet tomorrow for an additional item, and how the fuck are we supposed to pay for that with a negative $900 balance? How the fuck am I supposed to get to work if I can't buy gas? These bitches better get this shit straightened out by morning, or I swear to God I'm going to go motherfucking postal.
Do you realize how fucking aggravating this is? I'm doing EVERYTHING in my power to keep our finances straight. I'm trying to fix my credit and get my shit together. I'm making a huge effort to make sure I never go negative again. Yet no matter what I do, people keep raping my bank account over, and over, AND MOTHERFUCKING OVER. I can't describe to you all how pissed I am right now. It's getting close to 2 a.m. in the fucking morning, and I can't go to sleep because I want to make sure this problem gets fixed. I have to be at work at 8 a.m. tomorrow do do a huge update on 30 computers before the library opens at 10 a.m. I have at least 2 meetings I have to attend later in the day, in addition to the routine tasks I'm now being given. It's the 1st really busy day I'll have there, and I won't be able to get any sleep because someone else fucked up. If I fuck up, I'll gladly take responsibility for it and the consequences, but all I've been doing lately is picking up the pieces for everyones else's fuck ups.
Hey, imagine that. I just checked the account and the $1,500 fee has been removed. So now I'm good, at least until the higher powers that be decide to fuck me up the ass again.
I'm going to bed.
First: Even though our apartment complex said they'd hold our rent check until the 7th of August. They cashed it on the 4th. That put us negative quite a bit. The bank was going to charge us 20, yes 20, overdraft fees for multiple charges that were processed after that. They went easy on us and only charged us 6 seeing that is wasn't out error. Of course, all the apartment complex had to say was, "Oops, sorry 'bout that." Then we got paid, and were back in the positive.
Second: Sideshow toys charged us $350 for a diorama on August 15th. That's great and all, but they tried to charge us for the same diorama on July 8th. I called and canceled it then, I closed my account there on the same call. Yet, on August 15th, they had no record of us canceling the order, the refund they gave us, or the canceling of our account. That charge put us into the negative until they called the bank. Also, we found out that we had about $150 in cashback money that we transfered over. That left us back in the positive with more than I had before the fuck up.
Third: We had to go to the vet tonight for an emergency visit for one of our rats. I went to do a small cash advance to make sure we had money for the rat just in case it was expensive. At the same time, I looked at our savings account. Our total in the savings account read: $1,252.54. We spent all of our savings on the wedding, pretty much, so we shouldn't have that much. You want to know how much should be in our savings? $50. On August 11th, 1,202.54 was deposited into the savings. We didn't do that. Of course, U.S. Bank's wonderful fucking computer systems are down, so they can't give us any details on the deposit. I'd sure love to spend the money, but I'm not touching it, because I know it isn't ours, and the minute I do spend it, they'll want it back. Tomorrow, we have to make time to physically go to the bank to figure it out.
Fourth: The vet bill was $146.20. I gave the woman at the vet office my Visa card, and the dumb fucking skank accidentally added another number. Yay! We got charged $1,496.20! Yay! She processed a refund, but we all know that those don't go through as quickly, so our account shows us being over $900 negative because the refund hasn't shown up yet. I called the bank, and of course, they can't remove the authorization charge until they speak with the vet's office. I tell him, "I've got their number right here, give them a call and we can do this conference call style and get it worked out." The bank guy says, "Oh, we don't call out, they'll have to call us." FUCKING SONS OF FUCKERS! now, I have to call the vet and give them my account info, so they can call and work through the automated menus and shit. After I do that, I wait about 10 minutes. The vet calls me back and says "I called them, but their systems are down, so they want me to call back in 30 minutes." WHAT THE FUCK? Their systems are down? Their systems were working fine enough to process the $1,500 charge, but they're "down" when there's a mistake to be corrected? I'M SO GOD DAMN ANGRY. The rat will have to go to our regular vet tomorrow for an additional item, and how the fuck are we supposed to pay for that with a negative $900 balance? How the fuck am I supposed to get to work if I can't buy gas? These bitches better get this shit straightened out by morning, or I swear to God I'm going to go motherfucking postal.
Do you realize how fucking aggravating this is? I'm doing EVERYTHING in my power to keep our finances straight. I'm trying to fix my credit and get my shit together. I'm making a huge effort to make sure I never go negative again. Yet no matter what I do, people keep raping my bank account over, and over, AND MOTHERFUCKING OVER. I can't describe to you all how pissed I am right now. It's getting close to 2 a.m. in the fucking morning, and I can't go to sleep because I want to make sure this problem gets fixed. I have to be at work at 8 a.m. tomorrow do do a huge update on 30 computers before the library opens at 10 a.m. I have at least 2 meetings I have to attend later in the day, in addition to the routine tasks I'm now being given. It's the 1st really busy day I'll have there, and I won't be able to get any sleep because someone else fucked up. If I fuck up, I'll gladly take responsibility for it and the consequences, but all I've been doing lately is picking up the pieces for everyones else's fuck ups.
Hey, imagine that. I just checked the account and the $1,500 fee has been removed. So now I'm good, at least until the higher powers that be decide to fuck me up the ass again.
I'm going to bed.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
So I lied
So there won't be a blog every week about an old movie you should watch again. I never really planned to have one. I tricked you because I'm sneaky like that.
However, if you do want to watch a few old movies again, I can tell you a few that I've watched recently that I can recommend.
TRON - This has always been one of my faves. I got a look at the footage shown at San Diego Comic Con for TRON 2. Oh my sweet fucking christ it's going to kick ass. Now, it may have been test footage that won't actually appear in the film, but it was cool enough to make me watch the first one again.
Starship Troopers - Part 3 that was just released is what made me revisit part 1. Despite a few huge flaws, Starship Troopers is still a fun film.
I'm in the second week of the new job. So far, it's going quite well. It's going to sound odd coming from me, but I'm actually a little bored and hoping to get stuff to do. It's early enough that I haven't gotten the passwords to some of the programs needed for routine tasks. It's also early enough that people haven't laid a lot of problems on me as to not "overwhelm" me. The problems that have been laid on me, like this morning's, have been so goddamn stupid, that I almost feel bad for taking $21 an hour from the library to solve them. When I solved the problem today, I almost felt like asking the person if this was cutting into their storytime or naptime. Today, I spent about 2 hours putting together the new bookcase for my office. Hank, the director, asked if I wanted maintenance to do it, but I was so freakin bored I took up the task. Of course, putting together crappy particle-board furniture means that something will break and the guy putting it together will fill with rage at the farsighted fuck who drilled the holes in some shithole Arkansas factory for $6 an hour. "Hey, for this one, let's drill the hole to within a fly's asshair of the other side of the board, so that the slightest pressure will crack the whole thing like an egg!"
Samantha got her new Social Security card today, so she's is officially Samantha Crow in the eyes of "the man." I could have given a shit less whether she changed her name or not, but now she's happy because people won't constantly mispronounce her name.
I'm thinking that Samantha and I should start looking into buying a house. The pros would be not throwing away $700 a month on rent with nothing to show for it. Also, I'd have more room. The cons are that I'd have to do the maintenance on the house, whereas now, the apartment complex does it for me. Also, I HATE the process of applying for loans and stuff. I'd rather go to the dentist than go through the credit checks, paperwork, and everything else that goes along with those types of things. hey, I should put that as my poll for this week. I want your advice. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you.
I think we're going to see Tropic Thunder sometime in the next few days. Normally, I don't pay to see a comedy in theaters, but I laughed out loud at a scene in the red-band trailer, and that's pretty rare for me. I'll let y'all know how it goes.
However, if you do want to watch a few old movies again, I can tell you a few that I've watched recently that I can recommend.
TRON - This has always been one of my faves. I got a look at the footage shown at San Diego Comic Con for TRON 2. Oh my sweet fucking christ it's going to kick ass. Now, it may have been test footage that won't actually appear in the film, but it was cool enough to make me watch the first one again.
Starship Troopers - Part 3 that was just released is what made me revisit part 1. Despite a few huge flaws, Starship Troopers is still a fun film.
I'm in the second week of the new job. So far, it's going quite well. It's going to sound odd coming from me, but I'm actually a little bored and hoping to get stuff to do. It's early enough that I haven't gotten the passwords to some of the programs needed for routine tasks. It's also early enough that people haven't laid a lot of problems on me as to not "overwhelm" me. The problems that have been laid on me, like this morning's, have been so goddamn stupid, that I almost feel bad for taking $21 an hour from the library to solve them. When I solved the problem today, I almost felt like asking the person if this was cutting into their storytime or naptime. Today, I spent about 2 hours putting together the new bookcase for my office. Hank, the director, asked if I wanted maintenance to do it, but I was so freakin bored I took up the task. Of course, putting together crappy particle-board furniture means that something will break and the guy putting it together will fill with rage at the farsighted fuck who drilled the holes in some shithole Arkansas factory for $6 an hour. "Hey, for this one, let's drill the hole to within a fly's asshair of the other side of the board, so that the slightest pressure will crack the whole thing like an egg!"
Samantha got her new Social Security card today, so she's is officially Samantha Crow in the eyes of "the man." I could have given a shit less whether she changed her name or not, but now she's happy because people won't constantly mispronounce her name.
I'm thinking that Samantha and I should start looking into buying a house. The pros would be not throwing away $700 a month on rent with nothing to show for it. Also, I'd have more room. The cons are that I'd have to do the maintenance on the house, whereas now, the apartment complex does it for me. Also, I HATE the process of applying for loans and stuff. I'd rather go to the dentist than go through the credit checks, paperwork, and everything else that goes along with those types of things. hey, I should put that as my poll for this week. I want your advice. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you.
I think we're going to see Tropic Thunder sometime in the next few days. Normally, I don't pay to see a comedy in theaters, but I laughed out loud at a scene in the red-band trailer, and that's pretty rare for me. I'll let y'all know how it goes.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Something you should watch again.
I don't want to review new films on this blog, so I'm going to start highlighting a film each week that you should watch again. Yes, you've probably seen the film before, but I'm telling you that you should watch it again.
This week, the film is Dark City. I'm not even going to tell you anything about the plot, because you've already seen it, or you haven't, in which case, it's fun going into this knowing nothing about it.
Dark City
The version I've linked to on Amazon is the Director's Cut which was just released yesterday. So, technically, you haven't seen this version before, but you get the idea. I did buy this DVD yesterday at Wal-Mart, after an infuriating experience with Best Buy. I would rather buy DVDs at Best Buy, but apparently they don't want my business. I watched it last night because I just had to see what was different about the Director's Cut.
It turns out that there isn't a whole lot different about the Director's Cut, which I like. Since I love the original, I would be pained to see the additional footage actually hurt the end product. That happens with some extended cuts of films. In this case, the extra footage wasn't really whole blocks of scenes, but extended cuts of existing scenes. The box says that about 12 minutes of footage was added, but it was added so seamlessly that I couldn't remember, in some cases, whether it was a new bit or not.
Speaking of the director, Alex Proyas, he's the man who directed the first, and only good, Crow film. he also directed I, Robot. Not a spectacular film there, but not horrible either. Proyas is one of these directors that puts a lot of emphasis on making the film visually unique. The Crow had a distinct look and feel to it, and Dark City is no exception. Even though I've watched this film at least 6 times, I'm still stunned by its look. Even before the dialogue starts, you know you're in for a treat.
I should mention the actors as well. Rufus Sewell plays the main character John Murdoch. Rufus Sewell hasn't had a lot of starring roles in his career, which is sad, because he's great here. I can only think of one other film he's been in without looking at IMDB, and that was Bless the Child. Although that film was lackluster, he was an outstanding villian. Just an evil, twisted fuck. Jennifer Connelly plays John's love interest. She's not only an amazing actor, but she's amazingly beautiful as well. The Incredible Hulk was better than Ang Lee's Hulk, but Liv Tyler has nothing on Jennifer Connelly. Jennifer Connelly s a better actor, she's better looking, and the chemistry between her and Eric Bana far surpassed what Tyler and Norton had. I'm still cheesed off about that casting decision.
Kiefer Sutherland is in the film as the doctor trying to push Murdoch towards the truth, while at the same time trying to cover his own ass. Sutherland's role is a creepy one, with how he speaks, and shuffles around like a paranoid hobo. He's also got my favorite line in the movie. William Hurt is in the movie too. Seriously, when is he not good?
If you've seen this film before, then watch it again. If you haven't yet gotten the chance to see it, then see it! Next week I'll pick a different film.
This week, the film is Dark City. I'm not even going to tell you anything about the plot, because you've already seen it, or you haven't, in which case, it's fun going into this knowing nothing about it.
Dark City
The version I've linked to on Amazon is the Director's Cut which was just released yesterday. So, technically, you haven't seen this version before, but you get the idea. I did buy this DVD yesterday at Wal-Mart, after an infuriating experience with Best Buy. I would rather buy DVDs at Best Buy, but apparently they don't want my business. I watched it last night because I just had to see what was different about the Director's Cut.
It turns out that there isn't a whole lot different about the Director's Cut, which I like. Since I love the original, I would be pained to see the additional footage actually hurt the end product. That happens with some extended cuts of films. In this case, the extra footage wasn't really whole blocks of scenes, but extended cuts of existing scenes. The box says that about 12 minutes of footage was added, but it was added so seamlessly that I couldn't remember, in some cases, whether it was a new bit or not.
Speaking of the director, Alex Proyas, he's the man who directed the first, and only good, Crow film. he also directed I, Robot. Not a spectacular film there, but not horrible either. Proyas is one of these directors that puts a lot of emphasis on making the film visually unique. The Crow had a distinct look and feel to it, and Dark City is no exception. Even though I've watched this film at least 6 times, I'm still stunned by its look. Even before the dialogue starts, you know you're in for a treat.
I should mention the actors as well. Rufus Sewell plays the main character John Murdoch. Rufus Sewell hasn't had a lot of starring roles in his career, which is sad, because he's great here. I can only think of one other film he's been in without looking at IMDB, and that was Bless the Child. Although that film was lackluster, he was an outstanding villian. Just an evil, twisted fuck. Jennifer Connelly plays John's love interest. She's not only an amazing actor, but she's amazingly beautiful as well. The Incredible Hulk was better than Ang Lee's Hulk, but Liv Tyler has nothing on Jennifer Connelly. Jennifer Connelly s a better actor, she's better looking, and the chemistry between her and Eric Bana far surpassed what Tyler and Norton had. I'm still cheesed off about that casting decision.
Kiefer Sutherland is in the film as the doctor trying to push Murdoch towards the truth, while at the same time trying to cover his own ass. Sutherland's role is a creepy one, with how he speaks, and shuffles around like a paranoid hobo. He's also got my favorite line in the movie. William Hurt is in the movie too. Seriously, when is he not good?
If you've seen this film before, then watch it again. If you haven't yet gotten the chance to see it, then see it! Next week I'll pick a different film.
Monday, July 28, 2008
I've said it before, but it feels really good not to give a shit.
I have a week left at this current job. I'm not going to slack off, but I have a bit more freedom than I had before. Just this morning, for instance, I'm refreshing a Hasbro Toy Shop page every 20 seconds waiting for them to make some G.I. Joes available that will sell out within 5 minutes. If I miss this chance, there is NO way I'll get these figures at a reasonable price later. My boss walks up to me at the exact moment they become available. This is how the conversation went:
BOSS: "We should meet now and go over a few projects."
ME: "It's going to have to wait a few minutes."
BOSS: "Are you busy with something else?"
ME: "Just placing a very important online order. It'll take a few minutes before I get my confirmation. We can meet then."
It felt so god damn good to be able to brush aside the boss like that. I may not have done that if I was planning on keeping this job.
It turned out to be more like 45 minutes, since Hasbro's site couldn't handle the traffic and turned into a giant clusterfuck of page load errors and "Your order can not be completed, please try again later" messages. I did manage to get my order placed, but a large numbers of others never got the chance. Hasbro KNEW this was going to happen, and yet they couldn't make sure their site was up to the challenge. 40 years ago, humanity sent men to the moon in what was, by today's standards, a garbage can on top of 3,000 tons of high-explosives. Today, we can't figure out how to keep a server operation more than 10 minutes? Give me a fuckin' break.
I was going to go see the new X-Files film this last weekend, but I've heard that it's not worth it. I'm not saying that the series was always top notch, but it at least frequently freaked me out. The movie doesn't even do that well apparently. This means I can put that money towards Tropic Thunder next month, or Star Wars. but personally, I think Star Wars is going to suck. Face it fanboys, George Lucas is a tired old man who ran out of good ideas years ago, and good directing skills long before that. Yeah, Lucas isn't directing The Clone Wars, but you know he had his twisted cock of influence so far up the director's ass that he may as well be directing it.
While we're on the Star Wars topic, you should all be very proud of me for restraining myself. I could have bought the new Millennium Falcon playset a few days ago. I could have spent $150 plus tax doing so. Yet, I didn't. Maybe with my new job I'll have the money, but logic and reasoning prevailed for the time being. Gods it is a beautiful thing though. 2 1/2 feet across, with lights, sounds, automatic opening hatches, and a cockpit that can actually fit 4 figures. Take a look at these 2 pics. The first is a shot of the new Falcon next to the previous Falcon. The 2nd just shows you all the inside space. It just reminds me of the huge playsets we kids used to have, like the Flagg and the Defiant. Plus, I never had a Falcon before.
That's it, I'm out.
BOSS: "We should meet now and go over a few projects."
ME: "It's going to have to wait a few minutes."
BOSS: "Are you busy with something else?"
ME: "Just placing a very important online order. It'll take a few minutes before I get my confirmation. We can meet then."
It felt so god damn good to be able to brush aside the boss like that. I may not have done that if I was planning on keeping this job.
It turned out to be more like 45 minutes, since Hasbro's site couldn't handle the traffic and turned into a giant clusterfuck of page load errors and "Your order can not be completed, please try again later" messages. I did manage to get my order placed, but a large numbers of others never got the chance. Hasbro KNEW this was going to happen, and yet they couldn't make sure their site was up to the challenge. 40 years ago, humanity sent men to the moon in what was, by today's standards, a garbage can on top of 3,000 tons of high-explosives. Today, we can't figure out how to keep a server operation more than 10 minutes? Give me a fuckin' break.
I was going to go see the new X-Files film this last weekend, but I've heard that it's not worth it. I'm not saying that the series was always top notch, but it at least frequently freaked me out. The movie doesn't even do that well apparently. This means I can put that money towards Tropic Thunder next month, or Star Wars. but personally, I think Star Wars is going to suck. Face it fanboys, George Lucas is a tired old man who ran out of good ideas years ago, and good directing skills long before that. Yeah, Lucas isn't directing The Clone Wars, but you know he had his twisted cock of influence so far up the director's ass that he may as well be directing it.
While we're on the Star Wars topic, you should all be very proud of me for restraining myself. I could have bought the new Millennium Falcon playset a few days ago. I could have spent $150 plus tax doing so. Yet, I didn't. Maybe with my new job I'll have the money, but logic and reasoning prevailed for the time being. Gods it is a beautiful thing though. 2 1/2 feet across, with lights, sounds, automatic opening hatches, and a cockpit that can actually fit 4 figures. Take a look at these 2 pics. The first is a shot of the new Falcon next to the previous Falcon. The 2nd just shows you all the inside space. It just reminds me of the huge playsets we kids used to have, like the Flagg and the Defiant. Plus, I never had a Falcon before.
That's it, I'm out.
Monday, July 21, 2008
You were all WRONG!!
Pretty much everyone told me that even though Sam and I have been together over 7 years, it would "feel different" being married. It doesn't. My ring finger feels different, because it has a ring on it now. That's really the only difference I sense.
I guess I may feel different had our life before the wedding been short. Our engagement alone was almost 2 years long, which is almost 2 years longer than Brian knew his wife before they got married. I'll take this opportunity to once again state what a fucking idiot Brian can be.
The wedding itself was damn-near perfect. I anticipated a problem or two, but the only problems were minor ones. People kept asking if I was nervous. Once again, after 7 years, it's not that big of a deal. It's not like I was going to get overwhelmed and run out of the chapel screaming and crying. The ONLY time I was a bit overwhelmed during the whole weekend was the Thursday before the wedding while I was visiting Sam's parents' hotel room. A bunch of other family members and friends were also there, and it just hit me that all of these people are here for Sam and I. All of these folks took time off from work and spent a crap-ton of money on gas or plane tickets to see us. All of these people are here together in the same room after all these years simply because of us.
I'm back at work now. I'd rather not be here. After almost 2 weeks off, going back to a job really sucks. Also, I'd rather just get this job over with and move to my new one, so that makes being here even tougher, knowing that it's really just wasting time while my boss finds a replacement.
I've nothing else to say. I think I'm going to go eat my bologna sandwich now.
I guess I may feel different had our life before the wedding been short. Our engagement alone was almost 2 years long, which is almost 2 years longer than Brian knew his wife before they got married. I'll take this opportunity to once again state what a fucking idiot Brian can be.
The wedding itself was damn-near perfect. I anticipated a problem or two, but the only problems were minor ones. People kept asking if I was nervous. Once again, after 7 years, it's not that big of a deal. It's not like I was going to get overwhelmed and run out of the chapel screaming and crying. The ONLY time I was a bit overwhelmed during the whole weekend was the Thursday before the wedding while I was visiting Sam's parents' hotel room. A bunch of other family members and friends were also there, and it just hit me that all of these people are here for Sam and I. All of these folks took time off from work and spent a crap-ton of money on gas or plane tickets to see us. All of these people are here together in the same room after all these years simply because of us.
I'm back at work now. I'd rather not be here. After almost 2 weeks off, going back to a job really sucks. Also, I'd rather just get this job over with and move to my new one, so that makes being here even tougher, knowing that it's really just wasting time while my boss finds a replacement.
I've nothing else to say. I think I'm going to go eat my bologna sandwich now.
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