I’m not, nor have I ever been, the most politically correct individual. In fact, I’ve made enough poor-taste cripple jokes to reserve a spot in Hell for an extended stay. So, when I think that something has gone a bit too far, or is a bit too poor in taste, then it’s really saying something.
I think the cafeteria that serves my place of employment has indeed crossed a line of poor taste. Every so often, they have “themed” meals where every item served matches the theme. They have a themed meal each year when the National Western Stock Show is in town. Tomorrow, they’re having a Black History themed meal. This is the menu:
Black History MENU
February 1, 2007
SOUPS: West African Peanut Soup*
Jr’s Chili Soup with Sausage
$4.45 LUNCH SPECIAL: Vegetable Jambalaya*© with Small Beverage
Ola’s Catfish with Creole Sauce and Hushpuppies
Jamaican Jerk Chicken
Marinated Steak with Red Beans and Rice
Sweet Potatoes
Creamy Corn
COLD PLATE: Cold Fried Chicken Platter
DESSERTS: Sweet Potato Pie
Georgia Apple Betty
African Soup? Sweet Potato Pie and Catfish? Mother fucking Hushpuppies? This is perhaps the most blatant stereotyping I’ve seen since I last stereotyped the entire Mexican people as being dirty, lazy bastards who can’t be bothered by the task of learning the English language. Why don’t we add some dishes to this menu like: Slave Stew, Watermelon Salad, Tarbaby Biscuits and Gravy, and Nigger No-Bake Chocolate Mousse Pie.
While I’m speaking about things in poor taste, I’ll speak about the weather here in Denver. This week will be the 7th consecutive week with snowfall, as well as the 7th consecutive week with temperatures dipping below the “Really Fucking Cold” mark. Right now it’s 2:55 P.M. here in Denver. This time of the day is when the daily high temperatures are normally reached. The temperature right now is 18 degrees, but it feels like 6 with the windchill and all that crap. The temperature in Juneau, Alaska right now is 34 degrees. Just for kicks, I wanted to see what the temp in Siberia is. They’re at 14 degrees right now. Sure, it’s colder right now in Siberia than here in Denver, but it’s also 5 A.M. in Siberia. They’ll at least have a balmy temp of 20 by 3 P.M.
If it gets any colder, Russia will start sending their exiles to Denver to die.
The television industry is going ahead with a Mr. and Mrs. Smith movie. They had to do it because the movie was actually good and it was somethig I enjoyed. I'll hope it doesn't suck, but I'm not holding my breath. Take a look here if your bitch-ass doesn't believe me. http://www.comingsoon.net/news/tvnews.php?id=18670
I ran across this news story today about the State of Minnesota temporarilly banning high school wrestling because of a herpes outbreak that wrestlers are highly succeptable to. The actual name is Herpes Gladiatorum. How freakin' awesome is that?! A virus that, due to it's transmission method, targets athletes. I prayed for this 10 years ago, and although he's a bit late on the execution, God's response is appreciated nonetheless. http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/conditions/01/31/herpes.wrestlers.reut/index.html
DVDs came out yesterday. These are the titles of note:
Flyboys (Widescreen) – This one flew threw the theatres and successfully bombed.
The Marine (Unrated Edition) – I like action movies, but even I looked at the trailer for this one and judged it to be a pile of filth. I dare you to watch the trailer and find one more spot where another needless explosion could be added.
Open Season (Special Edition, Widescreen) – I’ll watch this one if given the chance.
The Passion of The Christ: Definitive Edition – Definitive eh? Usually I’m a sucker for words like that, but ol’ SugarTits Mel ain’t gonna trick me this time.
The Silence of the Lambs (Collector's Edition) – If you don’t already own this film, then it’s obvious you’re a poor decision maker. Go buy it already. This way, you’ll have fond memories of Hannibal Lector instead of the bitter hatred that the film Hannibal Rising will cause.
That's it.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Morons I dare say!!
This posting concerns 2 bits of stupidity I have encountered today.
The 1st bit of stupidity is E-Bay related:
If you aren’t legally blind, then take a look at these 2 pictures. The 1st one is from the listing of an item I won an Ebay. The 2nd picture represents the figure I actually received.
When I contacted the seller about the issue, this was the response I got:
"I'm very sorry. I thought I was shipping the exact item as the picture. My mistake. "
Yes, it is your mistake. It’s your mistake that you’re an idiot who can’t be bothered with the mundane task of verifying the item you’re selling. Yes, they’re the same character, but as anyone with an I.Q. over 6 can see, they’re quite different color-wise.
The 2nd bit of stupidity is significant other related:
I’ve said before that I generally don’t disparage my future wife. That being said, I have to rant about today’s bit of stupidity that flowed forth from her.
She wants a new computer, specifically a kick-ass gaming laptop. Fine, I can get behind that. The last computer bought was for me so if she wants one now, I can justify the purchase.
What I can’t justify is a needless expense. She wants an Alienware computer. Maybe she wants it because she can get it in a pretty metallic blue color. Maybe she wants it because she likes the name. Frankly, I don’t give a shit why. If she builds this computer the way she wants, it totals up to around $2800. That isn’t going to happen. I’ve looked into the matter, and discovered that we can have Dell, Toshiba, Gateway, or HP build one with more than Alienware’s $2800 version for around $2200.
This better version by any other company would have a faster processor, more RAM, a better graphics card, a bigger hard drive, more software, and a better warranty than Alinware’s version for $600 less. When I told Samantha about this, she got all uppity and said:
“More isn’t always better.”
Honestly, isn’t that about the dumbest and most illogical comment one could say on this issue? Had I not heard this utterly ridiculous comment while in a crowded cafeteria, I think I would have responded with a phrase containing the words: “What the fuck,” and “Have you lost your fucking mind?” The point of a kick-ass gaming computer is to have the one with the best hardware available. I’ll be using this new computer for games too, and I’ll be damned if I’m paying $600 more than I have to for a machine I’ll have to upgrade sooner.
I need to go home and cry now.
The 1st bit of stupidity is E-Bay related:
If you aren’t legally blind, then take a look at these 2 pictures. The 1st one is from the listing of an item I won an Ebay. The 2nd picture represents the figure I actually received.
When I contacted the seller about the issue, this was the response I got:
"I'm very sorry. I thought I was shipping the exact item as the picture. My mistake. "
Yes, it is your mistake. It’s your mistake that you’re an idiot who can’t be bothered with the mundane task of verifying the item you’re selling. Yes, they’re the same character, but as anyone with an I.Q. over 6 can see, they’re quite different color-wise.
The 2nd bit of stupidity is significant other related:
I’ve said before that I generally don’t disparage my future wife. That being said, I have to rant about today’s bit of stupidity that flowed forth from her.
She wants a new computer, specifically a kick-ass gaming laptop. Fine, I can get behind that. The last computer bought was for me so if she wants one now, I can justify the purchase.
What I can’t justify is a needless expense. She wants an Alienware computer. Maybe she wants it because she can get it in a pretty metallic blue color. Maybe she wants it because she likes the name. Frankly, I don’t give a shit why. If she builds this computer the way she wants, it totals up to around $2800. That isn’t going to happen. I’ve looked into the matter, and discovered that we can have Dell, Toshiba, Gateway, or HP build one with more than Alienware’s $2800 version for around $2200.
This better version by any other company would have a faster processor, more RAM, a better graphics card, a bigger hard drive, more software, and a better warranty than Alinware’s version for $600 less. When I told Samantha about this, she got all uppity and said:
“More isn’t always better.”
Honestly, isn’t that about the dumbest and most illogical comment one could say on this issue? Had I not heard this utterly ridiculous comment while in a crowded cafeteria, I think I would have responded with a phrase containing the words: “What the fuck,” and “Have you lost your fucking mind?” The point of a kick-ass gaming computer is to have the one with the best hardware available. I’ll be using this new computer for games too, and I’ll be damned if I’m paying $600 more than I have to for a machine I’ll have to upgrade sooner.
I need to go home and cry now.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Fire...BAD!!!!
I'm waiting for class to start so I may as well take the time to add more to the filth which is the internet.
Today started off with a phone call from my mother regarding my father almost killing himself. Apparently, he was trying to light to pilot light on their ancient furnace. Due to a faulty safety valve, he succeeded in lighting himself. he now has first degree burns on part of his arms and is missing more of his hair in addition to what poor genetics has already taken. I think it's time to give my father an honorary codename, much as an X-Man or G.I. Joe soldier would have. If you have any suggestions, do let me know. As far as my own ideas go, I've narrowed the choices down to four:
Flashpoint
Matchbook
Mercaptan
Pro-Pain
Let me know which you prefer.
There is a certain type of person who feels liek everything they have to say is of importance. Everyone else is naturally supposed to listen and find value in what they have to say. These people will interrupt other people to make sure that everyone know what point is being made. These people will say the first thing that pops into their head no matter how inane, pointless, and obvious it is. These people may be intelligent, or they may be dumber than a sackful of hammers. A fellow calssmate of mine is one of these people. I can't tell if he's smart or stupid. I can't tell what his likes and dislikes are. I can't tell if he's a Republican, Democrat, or Fascist. All I know is that I just want him to shut the fuck up. I can't be the only person who clenches my fist in frustration every time he opens his piehole. My asthma aside, I wish I smoked so I could put a lit cigarrete out on this prick's forehead.
Well, I hate to cut and run, but it's difficult to type here, browse EBay, and pretend to listen to the instructor all at once. Something has to go and it's you.
Today started off with a phone call from my mother regarding my father almost killing himself. Apparently, he was trying to light to pilot light on their ancient furnace. Due to a faulty safety valve, he succeeded in lighting himself. he now has first degree burns on part of his arms and is missing more of his hair in addition to what poor genetics has already taken. I think it's time to give my father an honorary codename, much as an X-Man or G.I. Joe soldier would have. If you have any suggestions, do let me know. As far as my own ideas go, I've narrowed the choices down to four:
Flashpoint
Matchbook
Mercaptan
Pro-Pain
Let me know which you prefer.
There is a certain type of person who feels liek everything they have to say is of importance. Everyone else is naturally supposed to listen and find value in what they have to say. These people will interrupt other people to make sure that everyone know what point is being made. These people will say the first thing that pops into their head no matter how inane, pointless, and obvious it is. These people may be intelligent, or they may be dumber than a sackful of hammers. A fellow calssmate of mine is one of these people. I can't tell if he's smart or stupid. I can't tell what his likes and dislikes are. I can't tell if he's a Republican, Democrat, or Fascist. All I know is that I just want him to shut the fuck up. I can't be the only person who clenches my fist in frustration every time he opens his piehole. My asthma aside, I wish I smoked so I could put a lit cigarrete out on this prick's forehead.
Well, I hate to cut and run, but it's difficult to type here, browse EBay, and pretend to listen to the instructor all at once. Something has to go and it's you.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Tickets Please!
It’s that time where I tell you what movies of note will be released in 2007. I’ll rate them according to this scale:
RMFR = Run Mother Fucker, Run! I’ll do everything in my power to avoid a film with this rating.
FIIK = Fuck If I Know. This means I’m undecided.
AM = Andy’s Mom. This means I’ll see it, but there could be better films.
SY = Shit Yeah! A film I will definitely see.
Hannibal Rising – The previous Lecter films all have their charm, but that may be due the presence of Anthony Hopkins as the civilized psychopath. This film is about a young Lecter, hence no Hopkins. It doesn’t look all that interesting, but maybe as I see more, I’ll form a different opinion. FIIK
Ghost Rider – Another Marvel comic book movie. That certainly isn’t a bad thing. This is directed by the guy who directed Daredevil. Daredevil was surprisingly dark, as Ghost Rider needs to be. I have high hopes for this film. SY
Black Snake Moan – Everything I’ve heard of this film says that it’s great. I’ve heard these things about films that turned out to suck ballsack. It looks good, but it isn’t a priority. AM
The Hills Have Eyes 2 – Finally a horror film where teenagers are relentlessly stalked and brutally murdered by a, or a few, freakish killers. That was sarcasm. RMFR
Zodiac – Based off the true story of the Zodiac killer. It’s directed by Fincher, so that’s a plus, but I’m not big on these psychological killer flicks. FIIK
300 – Stylistically this movie is supposed to be fuckin’ amazing. They said that about Sin City too, and they were right, but the movie lacked in a lot of other ways. I’ve heard early reports that 300 is also lacking in the aspects that make a good movie great. AM
TMNT – That means Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for you ignorant fucks. The CG animation looks gorgeous and the dialogue I’ve heard so far seems pretty solid. SY
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters – Sure, the TV show can be extremely hilarious, but will this 22 minute show transfer into a 90 minute film well? I’ve heard that it doesn’t despite having Bruce Campbell voice a chicken nugget. FIIK
Are We Done Yet? – The sequel to the Ice Cube family film Are We There Yet? If you mean nausea, then yes, I am already there. RMFR
Grindhouse – Being a joint film between Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodrigeuz, a lot of rabid fanboys are going apeshit for this over-the-top kill fest. The trailer reminds me of Sin City and that’s a negative, although Kurt Russell stars in the Tarantino half of the film, and I do like Kurt Russell. FIIK
Hot Fuzz – A comedy from the makers of Shaun of the Dead about law enforcement in England. I think it’s funny that the English authorities believe they actually have any authority. AM
Pathfinder – What happens when Vikings and Native Americans meet? The answer is a lot of gore and sweet-ass fight scenes. Although not even close to historically accurate, this film looks like it has potential to entertain the shit out of me. AM
Spider-Man 3 – Anyone who isn’t looking forward to this movie reeks of poopie. That’s right, I said it, poopie. SY
28 Weeks Later – Because a good movie has to have a sequel. Honestly, I don’t know if 28 Days Later was good. I never watched it. FIIK
Shrek the Third – Although I have never been a huge fan of the 1st two, I admit they are quite funny. This will make an assload of money whether I see it or not. AM
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End – This franchise has been the biggest moviegoing surprise I’ve had in years. I thought the 1st one who be a childish and clichéd film. I was horribly wrong, and I’m glad I was since the sequel was just as good. This is in the top 5 films I must see this year. SY
Hostel: Part II – I have nothing good to say about this film. RMFR
Ocean's 13 – Based of installments 11 and 12, this one is a must see. SY
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer – Critics have bashed the hell out of the 1st film, and sure, it has some problems; however, the trailer for this film makes it look freakin’ awesome. SY
Evan Almighty – Despite being a Jim Carey film, I liked Bruce Almighty. I don’t think I’ll like this one near as much. FIIK
Live Free or Die Hard – Finally another Die Hard film! I love the Die Hard franchise so far. Len Weismann is directing this one, which gives me cause for concern. He’s the hack who directed both Underworld films. I’ll go to see it with reservations, but I’ll see it nonetheless. SY
Ratatouille – This year’s entry by Disney and Pixar centers around a rat who likes really good food. It looks like a better premise than Cars, which I haven’t seen despite being a Pixar fan. FIIK
Transformers – I don’t care what the bitchy-ass fanboys say about this film. This film looks like a spectacular robots, carnage, shit blowing up, over-the-top, mega-blockbuster of a film by Michael Bay. Bay does this kind of film a lot with mixed results, but in this case, I think it’s exactly the kind of movie needed to bring the Transformers to the big screen. SY
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix – So far I’ve enjoyed all the other films in this series. I haven’t read any of the books, and I won’t because I want to be surprised when I see this in theatres. SY
The Simpsons Movie – I’d say that over 15 successful years on television is reason enough for this movie. SY
The Bourne Ultimatum – I really really liked the 1st 2 films, but since I haven’t yet seen any promotional materials for this yet, I’m not quite as stoked as I should be. AM
Rush Hour 3 – Parts 1 and 2 were funny, but I’m note sure if a 3rd part is needed. If anyone can do it well though, it’s Brett Ratner. FIIK
Halloween – This movie is just now being cast, but I’ve heard enough to know that it will most like be a piece of shit. There are some things that don’t need to be re-made, and Michael Myers is one of those things. RMFR
Resident Evil: Extinction – Both other Resident Evil flicks were kind of shitty, but I found myself more entertained than I should have been with them. I’m not saying this movie will be good, but part of me still wants to see it. AM
Bean II – I believe that Rowan Atkinson is a funny man, but chances are I won’t spend my cash to see it in theatres. FIIK
30 Days of Night – The graphic novel this is based on was actually frightening in a way most horror-based graphic novels can’t achieve. I’m not a huge fan of vampire films, but I’d like to see how well this gets translated. AM
Saw IV – Enough already. Just enough. Yes, these films make a great deal of money, but money shouldn’t be the reason behind pointless sequel after pointless sequel. Uwe Boll makes horrible sequels like Bloodrayne II, but he makes them because he wants to make them, not because it will make him a wealthy man.
Beowulf – Any fan of the original work would love to see a film that’s as close to the epic source material as possible. I’ve heard this film is just that. This could very well be a great film, but only time will tell. AM
I Am Legend – This is based upon the book I Am Legend. Clever huh? This has been adapted previously into film, most notably The Omega Man starring Charlton Heston. This adaptation will star Will Smith. I’ve always liked post-apocalyptic movies. AM
Alien vs. Predator 2 – I’m a big enough fan of the Alien and Predator fanchises that I’d like to be praising this film. I’d like to, but I can’t. Maybe it will be good, but most likely it will fail miserably. FIIK (and that’s being generous)
National Treasure: The Book of Secrets – The 1st film was another surprise film from Disney. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I’m hoping the sequel is as fun as its predecessor. SY
The following films do not yet have release dates. Their release in 2007 is certainly in question for a few of these.
Sunshine – This looks to be a dark and depressing sci-fi from the director of 28 Days Later. AM
Sin City 2 – This truly is an unneeded sequel. Some may be eagerly anticipating this, but I’m not. FIIK (Generosity yet again)
Spy-Hunter – A film based upon a video game. This genre hasn’t fared so well in the past, but I’m actually looking forward to this. The game Spy-Hunter really has no plot, so even if the film has no plot, who gives a shit? It’s just about a spy in a kick-ass car that drives around and blows shit up. Although I don’t know how good of a spy you can be when you drive around in a chromed car that turns into a speedboat. That’s a tad conspicuous. This Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson which gives me a little bit of hope since I actually enjoyed him in the movie Doom. AM
Day of the Dead – I liked the Dawn of the Dead re-make. I may like this remake as well, but honestly, I usually hate zombie films. FIIK
Highlander: The Source – As a nerd, I should say that I love Highlander. I like Highlander, and that’s about it. FIIK
The Punisher 2 – I would be a liar if I said I didn’t like the 1st one. I shouldn’t like it, because it honestly wasn’t all that good, but I’m definitely glad the sequel has a greenlight. SY
That’s it for now. I know I probably misspelled some actor or director names, which I really can’t stand doing, but I’m too lazy to look every name up on the IMDB right now. Live with it.
RMFR = Run Mother Fucker, Run! I’ll do everything in my power to avoid a film with this rating.
FIIK = Fuck If I Know. This means I’m undecided.
AM = Andy’s Mom. This means I’ll see it, but there could be better films.
SY = Shit Yeah! A film I will definitely see.
Hannibal Rising – The previous Lecter films all have their charm, but that may be due the presence of Anthony Hopkins as the civilized psychopath. This film is about a young Lecter, hence no Hopkins. It doesn’t look all that interesting, but maybe as I see more, I’ll form a different opinion. FIIK
Ghost Rider – Another Marvel comic book movie. That certainly isn’t a bad thing. This is directed by the guy who directed Daredevil. Daredevil was surprisingly dark, as Ghost Rider needs to be. I have high hopes for this film. SY
Black Snake Moan – Everything I’ve heard of this film says that it’s great. I’ve heard these things about films that turned out to suck ballsack. It looks good, but it isn’t a priority. AM
The Hills Have Eyes 2 – Finally a horror film where teenagers are relentlessly stalked and brutally murdered by a, or a few, freakish killers. That was sarcasm. RMFR
Zodiac – Based off the true story of the Zodiac killer. It’s directed by Fincher, so that’s a plus, but I’m not big on these psychological killer flicks. FIIK
300 – Stylistically this movie is supposed to be fuckin’ amazing. They said that about Sin City too, and they were right, but the movie lacked in a lot of other ways. I’ve heard early reports that 300 is also lacking in the aspects that make a good movie great. AM
TMNT – That means Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for you ignorant fucks. The CG animation looks gorgeous and the dialogue I’ve heard so far seems pretty solid. SY
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters – Sure, the TV show can be extremely hilarious, but will this 22 minute show transfer into a 90 minute film well? I’ve heard that it doesn’t despite having Bruce Campbell voice a chicken nugget. FIIK
Are We Done Yet? – The sequel to the Ice Cube family film Are We There Yet? If you mean nausea, then yes, I am already there. RMFR
Grindhouse – Being a joint film between Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodrigeuz, a lot of rabid fanboys are going apeshit for this over-the-top kill fest. The trailer reminds me of Sin City and that’s a negative, although Kurt Russell stars in the Tarantino half of the film, and I do like Kurt Russell. FIIK
Hot Fuzz – A comedy from the makers of Shaun of the Dead about law enforcement in England. I think it’s funny that the English authorities believe they actually have any authority. AM
Pathfinder – What happens when Vikings and Native Americans meet? The answer is a lot of gore and sweet-ass fight scenes. Although not even close to historically accurate, this film looks like it has potential to entertain the shit out of me. AM
Spider-Man 3 – Anyone who isn’t looking forward to this movie reeks of poopie. That’s right, I said it, poopie. SY
28 Weeks Later – Because a good movie has to have a sequel. Honestly, I don’t know if 28 Days Later was good. I never watched it. FIIK
Shrek the Third – Although I have never been a huge fan of the 1st two, I admit they are quite funny. This will make an assload of money whether I see it or not. AM
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End – This franchise has been the biggest moviegoing surprise I’ve had in years. I thought the 1st one who be a childish and clichéd film. I was horribly wrong, and I’m glad I was since the sequel was just as good. This is in the top 5 films I must see this year. SY
Hostel: Part II – I have nothing good to say about this film. RMFR
Ocean's 13 – Based of installments 11 and 12, this one is a must see. SY
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer – Critics have bashed the hell out of the 1st film, and sure, it has some problems; however, the trailer for this film makes it look freakin’ awesome. SY
Evan Almighty – Despite being a Jim Carey film, I liked Bruce Almighty. I don’t think I’ll like this one near as much. FIIK
Live Free or Die Hard – Finally another Die Hard film! I love the Die Hard franchise so far. Len Weismann is directing this one, which gives me cause for concern. He’s the hack who directed both Underworld films. I’ll go to see it with reservations, but I’ll see it nonetheless. SY
Ratatouille – This year’s entry by Disney and Pixar centers around a rat who likes really good food. It looks like a better premise than Cars, which I haven’t seen despite being a Pixar fan. FIIK
Transformers – I don’t care what the bitchy-ass fanboys say about this film. This film looks like a spectacular robots, carnage, shit blowing up, over-the-top, mega-blockbuster of a film by Michael Bay. Bay does this kind of film a lot with mixed results, but in this case, I think it’s exactly the kind of movie needed to bring the Transformers to the big screen. SY
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix – So far I’ve enjoyed all the other films in this series. I haven’t read any of the books, and I won’t because I want to be surprised when I see this in theatres. SY
The Simpsons Movie – I’d say that over 15 successful years on television is reason enough for this movie. SY
The Bourne Ultimatum – I really really liked the 1st 2 films, but since I haven’t yet seen any promotional materials for this yet, I’m not quite as stoked as I should be. AM
Rush Hour 3 – Parts 1 and 2 were funny, but I’m note sure if a 3rd part is needed. If anyone can do it well though, it’s Brett Ratner. FIIK
Halloween – This movie is just now being cast, but I’ve heard enough to know that it will most like be a piece of shit. There are some things that don’t need to be re-made, and Michael Myers is one of those things. RMFR
Resident Evil: Extinction – Both other Resident Evil flicks were kind of shitty, but I found myself more entertained than I should have been with them. I’m not saying this movie will be good, but part of me still wants to see it. AM
Bean II – I believe that Rowan Atkinson is a funny man, but chances are I won’t spend my cash to see it in theatres. FIIK
30 Days of Night – The graphic novel this is based on was actually frightening in a way most horror-based graphic novels can’t achieve. I’m not a huge fan of vampire films, but I’d like to see how well this gets translated. AM
Saw IV – Enough already. Just enough. Yes, these films make a great deal of money, but money shouldn’t be the reason behind pointless sequel after pointless sequel. Uwe Boll makes horrible sequels like Bloodrayne II, but he makes them because he wants to make them, not because it will make him a wealthy man.
Beowulf – Any fan of the original work would love to see a film that’s as close to the epic source material as possible. I’ve heard this film is just that. This could very well be a great film, but only time will tell. AM
I Am Legend – This is based upon the book I Am Legend. Clever huh? This has been adapted previously into film, most notably The Omega Man starring Charlton Heston. This adaptation will star Will Smith. I’ve always liked post-apocalyptic movies. AM
Alien vs. Predator 2 – I’m a big enough fan of the Alien and Predator fanchises that I’d like to be praising this film. I’d like to, but I can’t. Maybe it will be good, but most likely it will fail miserably. FIIK (and that’s being generous)
National Treasure: The Book of Secrets – The 1st film was another surprise film from Disney. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I’m hoping the sequel is as fun as its predecessor. SY
The following films do not yet have release dates. Their release in 2007 is certainly in question for a few of these.
Sunshine – This looks to be a dark and depressing sci-fi from the director of 28 Days Later. AM
Sin City 2 – This truly is an unneeded sequel. Some may be eagerly anticipating this, but I’m not. FIIK (Generosity yet again)
Spy-Hunter – A film based upon a video game. This genre hasn’t fared so well in the past, but I’m actually looking forward to this. The game Spy-Hunter really has no plot, so even if the film has no plot, who gives a shit? It’s just about a spy in a kick-ass car that drives around and blows shit up. Although I don’t know how good of a spy you can be when you drive around in a chromed car that turns into a speedboat. That’s a tad conspicuous. This Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson which gives me a little bit of hope since I actually enjoyed him in the movie Doom. AM
Day of the Dead – I liked the Dawn of the Dead re-make. I may like this remake as well, but honestly, I usually hate zombie films. FIIK
Highlander: The Source – As a nerd, I should say that I love Highlander. I like Highlander, and that’s about it. FIIK
The Punisher 2 – I would be a liar if I said I didn’t like the 1st one. I shouldn’t like it, because it honestly wasn’t all that good, but I’m definitely glad the sequel has a greenlight. SY
That’s it for now. I know I probably misspelled some actor or director names, which I really can’t stand doing, but I’m too lazy to look every name up on the IMDB right now. Live with it.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Blogs and Nerdery
One of the reasons I got a blog was because it seemed like a good way to stay knowledgeable on that happening of friends on such. Another reason I got a blog was because a few aforementioned friends already had a blog of their own. Now that I have a blog, it seems as though the other people I know with blogs never freaking post on a regular basis. Even the so-called, big-shot, college grad “Writer and author” I know hardly posts.
I’m not upset by this in the least. Rest assured, I’m not planning any of your deaths, at least not for this reason. I just enjoy hearing what my friends have to say. At the very least, you’re all mildly entertaining. Some people sit around and spend hours reading MySpace pages of random people. How is that rewarding? Honestly, I don’t give a shit about what some guy in Portland thinks about his wife’s Cheesy Bacon Casserole.
Enough of that. At least we’re not part of MySpace. Only tools have MySpace pages, unless you’re the one friend of mine who does have a MySpace page, in which case I say, I didn’t know you read my blog.
Shane and I have started buying the new World of Warcraft trading card game a few weeks ago. I used to mock people who went crazy over the Magic cards, and I still do as a matter of fact. Shane and I payed a few games, and it can be entertaining once you get the hang of it, but there are certain things I don’t think I can do in good conscience. For example, having a 30-sided dice, or is it die, can really help the game go smoother. I don’t think I can buy a 30-sided dice. Buying a multi-sided dice will push me to a new level of Nerd that I don’t want to enter. If I cross that line, I’ll find myself buying D&D books, Warhammer miniatures, and attending game cons looking for the rare Blue Orc Magic card #245 of 450 to complete my set, or some item like that, all while dressed an a ENT from Lord of the Rings. That shit isn’t going to happen. I can bring myself to buy a few cards, and I can even bring myself to play a game or two on occasion, but there are certain things I just can not do. If anyone has a 30-sided dice you want to give me, that’s fine, but I ain’t buying one. Even just buying the cards is straddling the nerd line. When I bought a few packs at a GameStop last week, the clerk started rambling in depth about certain rare cards, night elves, and something called Onyxia. I had no fucking clue what he was talking about and I was damn near ready to jump over the counter and hurt him severely. I guess there are two types of nerds. The first type is the quiet nerd who would be happy if no one else knew he bought nerdish things. This nerd will not let his nerdish hobbies consume every aspect of his life. This is the type of nerd I am. The second type of nerd is the one who wants everyone to know that he has a level 70 white wizard with the Staff of Thartual. This nerd sees no problem with going to an anime convention dressed as a Japanese schoolgirl being attacked by a tentacle porn monster. This is the type of nerd who will die a virgin.
So you all know, the crack about a nerd going to a con dressed as a schoolgirl being attacked by a tentacle porn monster wasn’t just a clever joke. Sadly, I know someone who did that. Thankfully, it was a female who was dressed as a Japanese schoolgirl. This person invited me along to an anime convention. I said no as politely as possible, and I did it without bursting into laughter. I’m proud of myself. Of course, she won’t die a virgin because she is female, but a man in the same situation certainly will.
Well, I’m out of things to say. When I blog next, it will be about the upcoming movies that you should see, and those you should avoid, in the coming year.
I’m not upset by this in the least. Rest assured, I’m not planning any of your deaths, at least not for this reason. I just enjoy hearing what my friends have to say. At the very least, you’re all mildly entertaining. Some people sit around and spend hours reading MySpace pages of random people. How is that rewarding? Honestly, I don’t give a shit about what some guy in Portland thinks about his wife’s Cheesy Bacon Casserole.
Enough of that. At least we’re not part of MySpace. Only tools have MySpace pages, unless you’re the one friend of mine who does have a MySpace page, in which case I say, I didn’t know you read my blog.
Shane and I have started buying the new World of Warcraft trading card game a few weeks ago. I used to mock people who went crazy over the Magic cards, and I still do as a matter of fact. Shane and I payed a few games, and it can be entertaining once you get the hang of it, but there are certain things I don’t think I can do in good conscience. For example, having a 30-sided dice, or is it die, can really help the game go smoother. I don’t think I can buy a 30-sided dice. Buying a multi-sided dice will push me to a new level of Nerd that I don’t want to enter. If I cross that line, I’ll find myself buying D&D books, Warhammer miniatures, and attending game cons looking for the rare Blue Orc Magic card #245 of 450 to complete my set, or some item like that, all while dressed an a ENT from Lord of the Rings. That shit isn’t going to happen. I can bring myself to buy a few cards, and I can even bring myself to play a game or two on occasion, but there are certain things I just can not do. If anyone has a 30-sided dice you want to give me, that’s fine, but I ain’t buying one. Even just buying the cards is straddling the nerd line. When I bought a few packs at a GameStop last week, the clerk started rambling in depth about certain rare cards, night elves, and something called Onyxia. I had no fucking clue what he was talking about and I was damn near ready to jump over the counter and hurt him severely. I guess there are two types of nerds. The first type is the quiet nerd who would be happy if no one else knew he bought nerdish things. This nerd will not let his nerdish hobbies consume every aspect of his life. This is the type of nerd I am. The second type of nerd is the one who wants everyone to know that he has a level 70 white wizard with the Staff of Thartual. This nerd sees no problem with going to an anime convention dressed as a Japanese schoolgirl being attacked by a tentacle porn monster. This is the type of nerd who will die a virgin.
So you all know, the crack about a nerd going to a con dressed as a schoolgirl being attacked by a tentacle porn monster wasn’t just a clever joke. Sadly, I know someone who did that. Thankfully, it was a female who was dressed as a Japanese schoolgirl. This person invited me along to an anime convention. I said no as politely as possible, and I did it without bursting into laughter. I’m proud of myself. Of course, she won’t die a virgin because she is female, but a man in the same situation certainly will.
Well, I’m out of things to say. When I blog next, it will be about the upcoming movies that you should see, and those you should avoid, in the coming year.
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